Sunday, December 30, 2012

Top 5 Things Married People Should Be Doing For Each Other!

There are numerous things on yahoo and other sites that talk about the top 10 things you should buy or what you should be doing in a relationship.  That's a bunch of hooey.  Top 5 things your wife and you should be doing in your relationship and Why.

1. Putting your relationship before the kids:  There's this saying: we can have more kids, but you can't find a new soul mate.  That's the truth.  If you think you have a soul mate and are in love with your wife, you should put each other first.  Fuck the kids.  Because when parents are happy with each other you role model healthy relationships for your kids which in turn teaches them the value of a healthy relationship. 

2. Being affectionate with your partner consistently:  Men equate love with physical contact.  Telling your husband you love him is not the same.  Men work on this principle: Action.  You can say whatever you want, but if there is no follow through with cuddles and simple scratches behind the ears you push your man away.  Women on the other hand equate love with the time you spend with them listening to their problems.  Common complaint of divorce women, "He never listened to me." Cuddle on the couch and let her talk about her problems.  Win-Win.

3. Show off the goods: Men are visual creatures.  We see women dressed with exposed legs and thighs are libido kicks in.  Have your husband's libido kick in on you and not the other girl.  Women tend to like us clean and maintained.  Clean up your look, shave the inside of your ears and pluck the uni brow.  Women and men after having children, having been married for years become complacent and conservative in their attitudes and dress.  Leading most people to gain 50+ pounds.  This leads to some stale times in a marriage.   
4. Be rewarded every time we do something for you:  We learned in psych 101 that you can condition any slightly intelligent creature using two basic reinforcements.  If you have a honey-do list and he completes it you shouldn't bitch and moan or give him more work as this is negative reinforcement, teaching us that these lists of yours suck, hence we come to despise them.  Once we completes a honey-do list a reward for our efforts is necessary for us to not necessary enjoy them but know there is something waiting after a good job.  Men this means acknowledging and praising your wife when she changes the drapes, puts up decorations or completes a project at work.  Praise and tell her how awesome she is. 

5. Put in the Effort: Kids, work, chores, bills, life have a tendency to suck your life and soul right out of you.  Being in a marriage means that you have someone to lean on.  But like everything else this requires effort.  A good way to gain more energy and spend time together is to work out.  This is easily done in the living room with the kids screaming and trying to kill themselves through the numerous brilliant ideas they come up with.  Putting in 30 minutes everyday working out together lets each other know your committed to each other.

  Many of these things are simple basic concepts we all do when we start dating in our youth with little care about things like bills and kids.  With all the things in life we start having to deal with once we become responsible adults we tend to lose sight of the things that brought you to that point in your life in the first place, your relationship with your partner.  If you don't take care of your significant other, everything your life is built on seems to come apart all at once.  Don't wait until you have to seek professional help that will cost you $100+ a week, making you shovel tons of built up anger and resentment to remember why you liked the person in the first place.  Putting in a little daily work will save you hours and thousands of dollars later.

-Rudest Dad
  

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

SLR Cameras and Why

Hey Everyone,

  So the holiday's are upon us.  There are several things that are going to happen to you this year.  The first is you are going to spend to much money on other people, get some crappy presents from people who think they are doing you a favor and hopefully you can wiggle enough money out of the deal to buy yourself something nice for the holidays that you will use and actually like.

  For me this year I bought a DSLR Camera.  You know the high end Digital Camera's that have all the lens you can take off and on with different zooms.  Now for those of you out there I want to make clear, I have been and continue to be a photo taker.  Back in the day I even used a Dark Lab to develop my own pictures from that stuff they use to make called film.  I used a Cannon AE-1, one of the best camera's ever made in my opinion.  I still have it tucked in the closet and wish they made film so I could develop in a dark room most days.  But time, energy and space are not the hallmark of being a parent.  So Digital it is.  I have for the last few years been watching the market and what is out their.  These two things have lead to this purchase.  Now most of the SLR camera's (once you reach a certain point) become a matter of criteria of wants then necessity.  The camera on your phone is just as good for everyday use that having a DSLR Camera.  If you only want it as a status symbol rather then something you would actually use, spend the money on something else.  If you actually want to get into photography it isn't for you start with something cheap and learn about ISO's and apertures along with the different techniques of photography using a Cannon Power Shot or something similar.  Personally I would go with the Olympus Touch as they are great for the beach, pool and everywhere else you want to go.  If you have and want to continue being a photographer then a DSLR is for you.

  I say this with the express knowledge that a good DSLR Camera is expensive.  There is no need to purchase one if you won't use it.  Now back to the matter at hand.  Like most Photographer's of the prehistoric age of film we understand ISO, aperture and the overall mechanics of a camera.  Can't tell you how many times I have repaired and cleaned that old cannon.  The general principle of the DSLR is still the same.  The difference is that rather than burning the image using light onto film, it digitizes the image.  This is neat as with the current technology rather then having to replace the film you can do this with a memory card in under 30 seconds.  Which are reusable, never deteriorate and won't get ruin despite getting wet, stepped on and/or most other things.  Plus you can cram them into your pocket and it won't feel funny.

  The other side to owning his type of camera is the use of photo software and what your computer is able to use.  I'm geeky and have plenty of access and knowledge to become efficient in most software that is out there, the other side is cost.  Real high end software can run you several hundred dollars if you are serious about using it.  Plus with the market there is always a newer and better thing to come out.  Finding something in between can help you come out of the dark room and into the digital age.  I personally like the ability to turn color into black and white (personal preference to develop pictures in) without having to use different negatives and solutions, the down side is you loose the actual art form of photography.  Digital gives everyone the chance to think they are the next new thing.  Who knows you might be.

  Now you own the Camera and want to use it.  These new models can do about anything up to and including shooting HD film.  This is cool but sucks a butt load of memory at once.  There are several things you have to learn and set the preferences for what you want the camera to do.  My personal choices are to not review every picture I take.  I rather shoot as much as I can and pick from the pile later, with a large memory card and multiple cards with these cameras you are more than able to find a rose in a pile of shit.  The second is how in depth you want to get into "change the features".  Remember you can always reset them.  My suggestion is you to go one step at a time in altering the setting with a notation to yourself in what you did. This way if you screw something up you can still make the changes you liked and miss the one you didn't.  Once your set up and ready to shoot go out and shoot.  Spend a day or a week shooting everything you can to get over the awkward feeling of having a large phallic device in your hand all the time.  The best thing you can do with this is to shoot and play with the software.  Don't be afraid to mess up.  There is always a reset switch.  If you write down your steps as you go you won't get but so lost. 

  There is a wealth of information on what you need and can buy.  If you are like me and have to buy these in sections this is the order you should take once you are taking pictures:

1. Lens UV Filter (Need to buy this, prevents a lot of dust problems and issues with your pictures)
2. LCD screen protector
3. Good Bag to Hold your Camera, lenses, accessories, cords and all the other things you want.
4. Extra Battery(s)
5. Tripod/mono pod (depends on how mobile you are)
6. upgrade camera strap
7. External Hard Drive (14 megabits a picture add up after a while.  No need to clog your computer memory)
8. Lenses (most expensive add-ons)

  Remember the key to photography is learning the different ways you take a picture of the same thing.  Most of it comes through experience and the deep desire to capture the world in a way you see it or develop a new perspective.  This only comes through taking millions of pictures.  With a DSLR you are more then capable of taking millions of pictures without having to keep them all (unless you want to).  A DSLR is for someone who has a good understanding of photography and wants to take an active hobby development of this.  If this doesn't apply use the camera on your phone or get a Pocket Camera, you will save yourself a butt load of money.

-RudestDad

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Role Modeling for Your Kids

Hey Fellas,

  How do we have healthy, happy kids.  We teach them of course.  We as fathers are responsible for the overall health, education and development of our kids.  School, neighbors and everyone has an impact, but nothing compared to you and the wife.

  What is the biggest part of raising a kid?  Role Modeling!  What you do, is what your kids do.  If you want your kids to be healthy and active.  You have show them what it means to be healthy and active by being healthy and active.

  I've come to this conclusion over the last few months.  I've always been healthy and active from lifting weights to hiking, traveling, swimming, playing sports, running and other such activities.  What I didn't realize is how much my kid actually wasn't a part of this.  What my kid sees is me talking about such things, but never actually doing them.  Leading back to the old saying: Monkey See, Monkey Do.  Now when I get home after a long day, the couch is trying to run away and I have to sit on it while watching TV to stop if from running away.  Well, guess what, this is what my kid sees as he doesn't come to work with me or the gym or whatever.  And especially these last few months I broke my hand and couldn't do anything.

  So, part of getting back into shape I've started bringing my oldest along with me.  Now he couldn't keep up and limited my workout, but the fact he was doing it next to me made all the difference between knowing and doing.  Now he works out with me 2 days a week.  But the most important part of this is giving my kid(s) a foundation of knowing what a healthy life style could be.

  Rudest Dad

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Kids in General and Something other then Electricity


Hey Fellas,

 Kids in general are smelly, sticky and loud.  The only ones I seem to be able to stand are my own.  Why?  There are several factors that play into this but the most important one is that I love them for some unknown reason.

  This is a fickle thing about kids: They are there no matter what.  The difference between my kids and yours is what you deem appropriate.  What I would think as wrong in my home, would be perfectly okay in yours.  Personal I go with the idea that kids are better off seen and not heard.  The problem with this is that they are not simple robots or Nick Knacks you can put on a shelf.  They have feelings (hate those) and desires (hate those too) that often conflict with yours (say watching the game).  This in lies the problem: How can I be me and still have them.  This is a story as old as time.  The problem now is that a man can't make the money with the wife taking care of the kids.  We actually have to be involved and not come in with fire and brimstone when they begin sowing their oats disrespecting the wife.  As much as we dislike this and are completely evolutionary ill equipped we deal as we always have:  "Come here child and watch TV with me."

  This is a bonding experience we all have with our children.  Just the other night I watched The Cosby Show with my oldest kid and realized I should let Bill raise my kids as he and Clare are much more equipped than I.  The problem is I don't have the DVR space to record every episode.  Priorities right.  So I have to do it the old fashion way, actually interact with my own children.

  To be fair Kids are what we make them.  So if I act like a lump on the couch, I'm pretty sure my kids are going to be lumps on the couch.  My recommendation is wait until they are passable (about 5 they turn into something resembling a human) in public and start taking them to places that are free such as a museum, a park, a river, hiking tails, mountains, etc.  And if they cry and complain find something they want to do.  Remember when you have been a lump on a couch for years you have to start nice and slow.  You can't go from TV, video games and ipods to roughing it for a month on a trail.  Start slow with short time frames of interactions without any immediate gratification.  If I want to eventually go to a museum I will have to start say at a Farmer's Market, an Art Fair, a car show, a Festival (of something or other) .  A kid's natural habitat is the wild.  So don't start in the inner city unless you live there (if you do, do the reverse of what I just said: Don't take them to the country until they know what a tree is).  There is always something going on for cheap if not free.  The problem is knowing where to look.  Start using that computer for something other than porn.

Rudest Dad  

Thursday, September 20, 2012

iPhone 5: Is it worth it?

Hey Fellas,

  The new iPhone is coming out this week.  The question every rational non-apple humping person in society is asking: Is the new phone worth it?

  The only reason you need the new phone is if your contract is up in my opinion.  Needing the phone because its the new shiny thing means your an Apple Zealot Addict.  Like most I have and love my iPhone 4s.  I just got it and there is no way I'm going to be waiting in line at midnight to get one.  Halo 4 or COD: Black Ops 2 more likely to get me staying up pass my bed time.

  Lets look at the difference:new things offered

1. 18% thinner and 22% lighter.  .666in thinner Meaning the width went from .37in to .30in.  The weight went from 4.9oz to 3.8ozs.  Sorry not a deal breaker. 

2. More speakers with a speaker in a different location: Sorry not a deal breaker.

3. Access to 4g Lte networks.  Worth it only if you A) live in a city offering the service and B) have a service that can support it.  The reality of the 4g wireless is there is not enough of a sound structure for you to worry about it right now.  Sorry not a deal breaker.

4. A6 chip.  The whole reason for the new processing chip is to handle the 4g LTE network.  I'm pretty sure you won't see the difference between the A5 and A6 chips.  Sorry not a deal breaker.

5. New headphones.  I can buy those separate if my current headphones aren't awesome enough.  Sorry not a deal breaker.

6. New charging/synching plug:  Assholes.  If you buy this phone you are now having to upgrade or buy an adapter for $30 a pop.  You know my entire house is set up using the current 13 prong jack.  And apple TV is not worth the hundred bucks per to replace what I have.  Do you know how much money that is.  Shit I'm finally going to be able to afford the old 13 prong connector stuff because it's all going on sale.  Apple just made 11 years of equipment obsolete.  Score for the 4s guy.   

7. Retina Display.  Have the new ipad, can't tell the difference.   Sorry not a deal breaker.

8. Panorama Camera option, New Siri, Maps, icloud, Air Play, and Printing are all O6 software upgrade.  Getting that for free who cares the new phone has it.

9. Slightly Longer.  Happy with the current size. Concerns of having the phone in my pocket now.

10. New stronger battery.  If you look at the 4s battery life vs the 5 you get the same results.  The only reason the battery is stronger is to support the 4g Lte network that you won't be using regularly because most of the cell companies don't have the infrastructure to support the 4g Lte data download.  And unless you have sprint you are going to pay a premium for data anyway.  Sorry not a deal breaker. 

  So the new iPhone comes down to the basic question.  1) Are you ready to replace all your iPod stuff for the new connection cord and 2) if your contract is up.  Because I can bet if you buy it straight up you are going to pay near a grand for the basic model.  Personally if your only upgrading because its time to replace your phone.  Going with the 4s is cheaper and I believe a happier way to go.  For the rule of thumb with any new technology and gadget: NEVER BUY THE FIRST ONE.

  Haven't we learned our lessons of Tech history.  The first generation is always going to have issues.  The new iPhone is all new tech and design.  This is a new phone for apple and we have learned apple does 2 things very well: 1) selling you their prototypes 2) being very selective in how they handle their software.

  The iPhone 5 is going to have issues: what those issues are is the questions all the Apple Zealot Addicts are going to solve for me when in a year or two the 5s comes out with all the hardware fixes, just in time when I'm ready to upgrade my contract.

  This guy's opinion is pass on the new phone go for the 4s if your ready for a new phone.  All the cool stuff being offered is on the 4s and won't break your accounts upgrading all the ipod connections you have collected over the pass decade.

  Rudest Dad

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Car Make Over

Hey Fellas,

  What are the two biggest problems with your old car.  You envy the guy in the new car.  Well for a fraction of the cost of a new car you can make over your car with minimum difficulty and give you a day to yourself or a project with your kids.

  Over the years I have found that my car sound sucks after a few months.  The reason for this is because the factory addition speakers are made from foam and cardboard.  So my tunes sound like shit and sooner or later I'm going to blow them out listening to Wu-Tang Clan.

  The solution is very simple.  4 speakers and a deck for your car at a minimum.  The question how far you want to go is up to you.  You can find these at Wal-Mart or on-line.  The key is knowing if what you want will fit into your car.  Crutchfield.com is a great site for figuring out if the deck you want will actually fit into your car.  Click on this site below and it will get you started.  Buying from them is pricy but if your a first timer and want to do it yourself they have excellent support and instructions for your car.

http://www.crutchfield.com/app/car/carselector.aspx?lp=%2fApp%2fCar%2foutfitmycar%2fcar.aspx

  How do you want to remake your car.  This question has three parts: the first is how much can my wallet afford.  The second is what is what is my skill level in doing this project.  Third, what is appropriate for my life.  I have kids and carry lots of different crap throughout the year.  So putting in a box, pull down TV is a waste (even though its what I want).  Instead with the age of my kids and my family budget 4 speakers and a deck are all I really need at the moment.  But believe me, as soon as I can I'll pimp my ride. 

  If this is your first time taking on anything like this you are going to need a few tools: wire stripper, wire cutters, electrical tape, soldering iron and solder, Haynes Repair Manual for your Model and Year, 6-in-one screw driver, trim panel tools, computer, ***wiring harness, ***Dash Kit, time and patience. 

  Now any entertainment project for your home or car the receiver (deck) is the most important.  It's the hub and it's abilities will give you options later if you want to upgrade.  No with the technology out there there are some questions you need to ask yourself. 1) How much do I use my car: are you in the car for hours or minutes, in and out, etc. 2) what's my tech like: ipod vs. mp3 player, flip vs smart phone, CDs?.  If you listen to cds still then you will need a player.  If your iphone only than having a blue tooth touch to talk system is handy.  3) Can I handle the technology: This is huge.  If you have trouble dealing with your phone then bells and whistles aren't for you.  4) Can I get away with just replacing my deck: some cars have infinity/bose speakers in, the deck just outdated.  A good deck can boost your sound quality of decent already install speakers. 5) Will the deck I choose fit my car and style: If you drive a minivan your not gonna want some over the top deck.  Sometime less is more.

  Personally I have a Pioneer 6200BT deck with 4 - 51/2" Pioneer 3-way speakers in an old Subaru Outback.  Let me tell you this slim deck is perfect for me and the kids as I cart them around.  Comes with everything to hook up Hands-Free Blue Tooth speaker and synch's with my iphone without any issues.  I don't even have to take the phone out of my pocket to listen to music.

  Now when you install keep in mind you will have to buy in addition to the deck and speakers a wiring harness for the make and model of your care as well as a dash kit.  No one tells you about these, they assume you know.  ***MAKE SURE YOU GET THESE"""

  The wiring harness should come with a diagram.  You will have to splice them together then either A) solder them together or B) use a crimp splice.  Twisting and wrapping with electoral tape is passable but I learned the hard way it doesn't last.  Once this is done you can just snap it into the harness in the car.

  The dash kit can be another headache if you don't prepare.  When I did my Subaru I had a combo CD and tape deck.  My new deck was a 1/3 of all that factory trash.  Leaving me a giant whole when the kit only came with one pocket.  I had to order a piece from an actual Subaru dealer to get the right part.  Now I have two pockets, one's even got a door.  But I had to drive around for 2 weeks with an ugly whole in my dash.  Taking sometime during the week to prep will save you hours of frustration later.

  Last and not least take your time.  An extra hour or two of patience will save the door panel from never fitting right again.  My wife still gives me shit when I ripped the speaker cover out all those years ago.  If you run into a problem, google it.  Someone, somewhere has a video that will teach you how to get the details right.

Good Luck & FUN

-Rudest Dad

Saturday, July 28, 2012

What To DVR for 2012 - 2013

First and Foremost several of these shows should be on your DVR.  If they aren't someone needs to schedule an intervention.  If your watching reality TV just take your man card out and hand it to your wife or significant other  This list does not include sports or anything from the summer shows that are becoming a saving grace to the re-run from last season we are use to.

  Second I'm going to list the shows by days and give you the channel and time it will come on once the season starts.  No I don't know when they will start.  Being a Grown means sometimes you have to do things yourself.  DVR everything and don't bother with commercials.  Included the start dates of non-basic channels

If you want the full line up (does not include not basics):

http://insidetv.ew.com/2012/05/16/cbs-fall-2012-13-schedule-revealed/

* = Hopes the new show isn't a flop.  High Hopes for success but won't hold my breath.
Monday:

Bones on FOX at 8pm
How I Met Your Mother on CBS at 8pm
Partners on CBS at 8:30pm (New Show)
  - Will and Jack are best friends with one of them being straight. 
*Revolution on NBC at 10pm (New Show)
   -What happens when all the lights go out?  This is apparently what happens.  Appears to be based on the S.M. Sterling Books about "the Change".  An uncle must help his dead brother's daughter rescue her brother from the evil Warlord of the Midwest. 

Tuesday:

Son's of Anarchy on FX at 10pm, September 11th
Vegas on CBS at 10pm (New Show)
  -The story of how Vegas is cleaned up by a rancher turned Sheriff.  Walking Tall meets the Shield.

Wednesday:

Animal Practice on NBC at 8pm (New Show)
  -Scrubs meets an upscale vet clinic in New York city
*Guys with Kids on NBC at 8:30pm (New Show)
  -Your 30 with a kid(s) and you don't want to lose your coolness and still see your friends.  What every man fears turned into a comedy. 
The Neighbors on ABC at 9:30pm (New Show)
  -You get your dream house is posh New Jersey neighborhood.  But your neighbors happen to be aliens and are just as screwed up as you.
*Arrow on CW at 8pm (New Show)
  -How Oliver McQueen became the Green Arrow - Spinoff from Smallville
Supernatural on CW at 9pm


Thursday:

Big Bang Theory on CBS at 8pm
Two and a Half Men on CBS at 8:30
Person of Interest on CBS at 9pm
*Elemental on CBS at 9pm (New Show)
  -Sherlock Homes leaves London winding up in Manhattan solving crime with Lucy Liu at the ever present Dr. Watson.
The League on FX (Time and Date TBA)

Friday:

Whitney on NBC @ 8pm
Last Man Standing on ABC @ 8pm

 Saturday:

You should be doing something other then watching TV

Sunday:

Dexter on Showtime at 9pm (September 30th)
Do No Harm on NBC at 10pm (New Show)
  -The classic tail of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in an updated format. 


Possible Mid Season Add Ins with Possibilities:


*Friend Me (Midseason) on CBS
  -Two friends move to LA and put an advertisement out to meet new people.  Harold and Kumar meeting and hanging out with someone new each week. 
Cult (midseason) on CW
  -A fictional  TV about a Cult starts to has a real cult following.
The Goodwin (midseason) FOX 
  -What happens when your daddy leaves a shit load of money behind and you have to jump through hoops to get it.
*The Following (midseason) FOX 
  -Kevin Bacon is a retired FBI agent until the serial killer he put away 9 years ago breaks out and starts recruiting and organizing the 300 active Serial Killers in America.
Hanibal (midseason) NBC 
  -Turning the Red Dragon Movie into a TV series. 
*Next Caller (midseason) NBC
  -Radio's Man Show is getting a pretty perky upbeat girl as co-host and he's not happy about it. 


 





Raising Kids

  There are more books on how to raise your kid then satellites orbiting the planet.  The problem is one will contradict the other.  So who should you believe.  If you actually read most of that trash the best thing is to pick and choose things that fit your life, you beliefs and culture.  You don't believe in allowing kids to explore the world your not going to incorporate the granola life style.  Reality is kids have been raised for thousands of years and no matter what, there are going to be good parents and their are going to be shitty parents.  If you want to be a good parent there are some basic things that have to done.

  First and the most basic is keep it alive.  Yes I said "it" children don't have sexual identity until they are older.  Yes they have a "penis" or "vagina" but that does not mean they can understand what responsibilities are associated with those private parts.  By thinking of them as "it" you allow yourself not to place your own stereotypes and expectations upon them.  That comes later.  Keeping "it" alive is making sure they feel safe (this is the same as knowing it is loved), fed a healthy diet (titties/formula at first, fruits and veggies, meats, etc), is appropriate clothed (clothes appropriate for the season), and your house is not a deathtrap (gates for stairs, door knobs, outlets covered, etc).  Kids have a tendency to find the most dangerous objects where ever they are and play with it.  There apparently is a gravitational pull created by dangerous objects kids can't resist.  I personally believe this pull is an evolutionary thing.  If you can't learn to survive then you aren't worthy of surviving. So I've been fighting evolution in saving each of my kids on a daily basis.  Once you get the hang of it, it becomes subconscious.

  Second you must set firm set boundaries for them.  This is first done physically by gates, shut doors, plugs in electrical sockets, stove covers and in my opinion lifting all the nicknacks, pictures and all the other stuff that makes your home look nice a good 5 feet off the ground.  This way they are allowed to explore and you are free to allow them.  Now you don't have stand over them every second.  Having to yell at your kids every 5 minutes to not touch this or that turns you into a prick.  You have better things to do then yell and hover over your kids every second of the day.  As they grow they are allowed access to things because they have matured enough to handle doing so.  As the first boundaries stop being physical, they become metaphysical.  For example: You are not allowed to eat cookies unless you ask.  You find their hand in the cookie jar.  You must now discipline them.  If you don't they will think they can get a cookie anytime they want because you are not going to do something about defying you.  Example 2: Your kid crawls into bed in the middle of the night because it had a nightmare.  Kid starts having "nightmares" every night and has to sleep in your bed every night.  There goes your sex life.  Kids are always going to be testing limits.  Your responsible is to make sure they know their limits.  Otherwise over time your shifting boundaries will let them think they can be little shits because you never punished them for doing what you told them not to.  By not setting firm and consistent boundaries, you create a person without morals or ethics.  They learn that rules are meant to be broken because a consequence is just a word.  People are 99% nurture and 1% nature. 

  Nature vs. Nurture.  Nature is your genetic profile.  Are you tall, short, brown hair, blue eyes, etc.  Nurture is learned through boundaries and role modeling.  If you want your kid to grow up healthy and happy, you have to lead a happy and healthy life.  If you and your significant other fight over every last thing.  Your kid will thing that is how you talk to people.  If you eat like a hog at a trough you can't be surprised your kid is 100 lbs overweight.  Parents are kids heroes and when they are young they don't care how much money you have, that you have all the best toys.  The happiest kids and most well adjusted are those whose parents set boundaries and role model those boundaries while spending time with them.

  Three, be your child's hero.  For kids there is no one stronger and braver then their father.  No woman more beautiful and caring than their mother.  You are prince charming and sleeping beauty (after she wakes up) to your kids.  By such you have expectations to live up too.  Not because you want to but because you need to if you want your kids to be able to be well adjusted adults capable of supporting themselves being productive members of society.  This means you have to demonstrate the behaviors needed to be a strong morally adjusted person.  Remember kids want to be you and if your a piece of shit of a person your kids don't have to know, if you show them all the positive things normal people do your kids will become greater then you.  You are the first and most influential teacher in your child's life.

  Four: show emotional and physical affection toward your kids.  Not in the pervert way (if you thought that was what I meant you shouldn't have kids, be around kids, maybe you should find a way to leave this planet or your so spastic your a nut case).  Kids are emotional creatures when their young.  Showing physical affection allows them to feel good about themselves, your affectionate relationship with them helps creates a connection of safety they can rely on to become emotionally safe internally.  Yes the old joke "Your mommy or daddy didn't hug you enough" isn't really a joke.  They probably didn't get enough hugs and affection from their family to allow them to establish and maintain lasting emotional connections to others or the exact opposite they become compulsive, overcompensating for their lack of affection seeking it where ever they can.  For you fathers with daughters there are two type of promiscuous women: the one with "daddy" issues; the second is because she really likes it and isn't ashamed.  I'd pick the second over the first. 

  How you implement these things is up to you.  I'm not coming to your house to show you how you should live.  I don't have the time to deal with your problems, I have my enough of my own to deal with.  All of this can be broken down to just a few things: 1. Praise and reward your kids when they do things right, punish them when they do something wrong being consistent.  2. Love your kids and don't be shy about showing them.  3. Stop evolution by keeping them alive.  4. Role model the behaviors you want your kid to have. 

-Rudest Dad

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Reclaim your Manhood

  Men need only a few things to make us Happy.  A cold drink, a lot of sex, no one telling us why were doing everything wrong and feeling capable of providing for our families.  This last part is the key in feeling like a man.  Genetically and through millennium of evolution we have been programed to provide for our families.  Without this we can no longer be considered men internally or externally.  We have to reclaim are manhood, but the problem is we can no longer do that in our current society.  We have lost to designer underwear and service jobs.

  As a man in a emasculating society we have to accept and move past a large amount of things we have been conditioned from childhood.  We are suppose to be Alpha in the house, regardless.  In today's recession driven society men are no longer able to provide for their families as they did.  More and more women are becoming alphas in this capacity.  This goes against everything we as men have been raised to be.  As men we don't do well with change, resulting in anger and douchbagery.  We are no longer allowed to hit things and take our frustrations out on killing animals to provide for our families, earning the money to provide.  This has caused us to feel inferior which leads us to being a sad sack.  Everything we have been raised to know and believe in has been turned on its head.  The problem is we don't know how to reclaim our manhood in the acceptable manner of our current society. 

  We evolve or die.  For this we must develop hobbies and things that allow us to be men again.  Hence all the MMA do-jos,  gyms full of middle age men who want to reclaim something they felt they have lost.  You did lose it and now you have to man up and go reclaim it.  Don't feel guilty in this as you go into a gym or a martial arts studio, take an automotive class or something manly.  You are doing what you need to do to reclaim your manhood.  We have to relearn the skills we no longer pass down from father to son.  Because frankly everything has gotten so complicated we can't recognize them anymore.  But there are still things we are able to do.

  We must shed are ignorance and accept the world for what it is and learn to live within it, then carve out the parts necessary reclaim our manhood.  If we don't reclaim our manhood how will our children know the meaning of respect, honor, and duty.  These concepts will be lost forever to greed, backstabbing and hate.

  As men we must have a common ground to know each other.  No longer should we ridicule each other for trying to make ourselves better.  No longer will we give a shit about the petty things.  No longer will we worry about who makes the money, rather knowing our shit is taken care of regardless of by who.  No longer will we allow ourselves to betray ourselves by wallowing in self-misery because we can't do something.  We will take our man pants out of our wives/mothers/girlfriends dresser and start to reclaim our manhood.  We will reclaim our honor, by doing our duty and respecting ourselves as we swallow our pride to learn and evolve in this panty waist society. 

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Home Theater: Things to Consider

  For many men having a giant TV with picture so good we can see Cameron Diaz's ass dimple and speakers that can blow women's clothes off is a dream we all work for.  It's the American Dream to rock out in our own homes.  No more having to pay 10 dollars a ticket for a movie.  We can wait and put it on the big screen in our own home.  The issue is that when it comes to the world of electronics we don't understand what everything means and how to make this dream a reality without wiping out our bank accounts.


  The first step is having a spot for all these toys.  Knowing the space is as important as what is put in there.  Does the space large, small, wide, long.  The space you plan on will dictate the size of your TV and the type of speakers and furniture you should buy.  If I have a short, squat basement room I plan on putting in my stuff then having floor speakers with a 60" TV would be mean I have to swivel my head to see the whole TV and have to have a very small couch to accommodate the speakers.  Or the opposite is true.  You don't want to have to have a small TV you need binoculars to see.  Or the need of a sub woofer because you plan on setting it up beneath the babies room.  These and other decisions need to be considered in the space you decide on. 

 
 

  Once you know where your going to set up your new theater, the next is to figure out is: What is your budget.  There are two options with the money.  The first is to have a large sum and go out and get it all at once.  This will require saving money int the bottom of your golf bag to make sure the wife doesn't spend it on shoes or some other pointless thing.  For decent equipment you will need about $5,000.  This is a great feeling and can be a good start to building your ultimate theater.  But if your like me and bills eat your pay check faster than crack head smokes a bag than this is another option.  Build your speaker system piece by piece.  Take a look at what you have and as you get the money start replacing and adding pieces.  If you already have a TV or one that is good enough you might want to get a receiver rather than upgrade the TV.  As TVs go, buying a new TV is best around March when you can pick up last years model at abut 1/2 of the new style.  Also this gives you the opportunity to score big in pawn shops, clearance sells and other deals that come around randomly.  The key to this is to sock the money away and have a small reserve when you run across a deal to good to be true.  For example this happened to me.  Walking through a big brand store I was able to pick up a Klipse 10" sub for my living room for 60% off.  For $200 I was able to get something that makes my house rattle.  Also by looking constantly for these pieces you teach yourself the prices and products that are out there and worth owning.

  The last piece is your homework with patience.  Do your homework.  This is such an important aspect of buying these products that you can save thousands of dollars if you do the research.  My first big TV I paid an extra $1500 for because I didn't know what I was doing.  Because I got caught in the beautiful picture and size I got suckered.  Don't let this happen to you.  Make sure you look at what's out there and wait for the right moment to go out there to fulfill your dreams.  When you do your research your realize that what one store sells you is a whole lot less somewhere else.  For instance:   you can get cords for about 1/2 price on-line and the big wear house stores sell wall mounts hundreds of dollars cheaper than electronic stores.  The store you buy your electronics isn't the same place you buy the tools to put them together.  Those stores can tack on a few hundred dollars of shit you don't need and find somewhere else cheaper. 

  The key to the right system is the right receiver.  the receiver is the heart and soul of your theater and can be the greatest or worse product you buy.  Buying the right receiver and will most likely be the hardest decision to make.  I personally find pioneer a very solid product that is well priced.  Pioneer is by no way the top of the line.  Its the Cadillac of receivers as the best way to think about.  Solid and stylish with all the same features at half the price.  Everyone has the brand they prefer its a personal thing.  If your a builder like me you know in the future you will want this and that to add to your collection.  If this is the case then you want to make sure you have extra ports for HDMI and Digital Optics for these pieces.  Something else to consider is the 5.1 and 7.1 speaker set ups.

  For those that don't know the .1 is your sub woofer.  Personally I'm running a .2 in my living room because I can.  The other numbers represent the number of speakers.  2 Front, 2 rear, center speaker and a sub woofer make a 5.1 if you had 2 mid range than you have a 7.1.  The thing to recognize with this is that unless you only watch blue Ray having a 5.1 is more than efficient.  As TV shows run 2.0 because there are only 2 speakers on it, plus if your movie collection is mainly DVD's they don't get higher than 5.1.  By eliminating two speaker outputs on your receiver you can save yourself some money.



  Finally you are ready to put everything together.  This is another decision you need to make.  How comfortable are you in installing everything.  For me I love putting it together, cutting the speaker wire and figuring out the puzzle of how I want to set everything up.  But I want that control over my system.  Other people are happy to let someone else come in and do it for them.  This isn't a bad idea if your planning on some seious installs such as in-wall speakers and in wall wire runs.  Everything else can be done at home if you have the confidence and the basic knowledge of how to plug things in. 

Brought to you by RudestDad

Reconnecting with your Partner

Life is the biggest fucker out there.  It will piss on you when your down and kick you in the balls when your standing.  It will tear apart your marriage and everything you have.  What we don't realize as we are busy trying to make ends meet in the race of buying shit we don't need is that in any marriage the most important aspect is you and your partner.  If you and your partner are not happy then everything else is fucked.  As parents we are the number 1 role model, having the most influence in our children's lives.  If mom and dad suck at being man and wife then how are they going to be when they grow up.  Remember that life will attempt to get in your way so you have reconnect with your partner when you realize you have drifted apart.  Think of a marriage as two planets that are in geosynchronous orbit with each other.  Without proper maintenance this orbit gets F.U.B.A.R..  When things get F.U.B.A.R.ed bad shit happens.  

  Sex is the number 1 reason your marriage is out of sync.  Sex is the foundation of all marriages in this day and age.  Where people think getting married is the equivalent of "going steady".  Shake that up with long hours at work, kids, bills, debt and a whole bunch of other shit you wind up with a lot of exhausted nights wondering how your going to get through the next day.  Sex is the answer!  It's the number one indicator if your marriage is going down the crapper and it's time to reconnect.  

  But there is never enough time.  Bullshit!  That is an excuse there is always time.  I'm not attracted to my partner.  Well that sucks, might be why your not getting any.  We don't have anything in common anymore.  We don't, We don't We don't... are all excuses as to why your not bumping uglies, screaming "oh, God, Ala, Jehovah, Buddha, etc" or "YES! Oh Yes!"  We live in an "I can't" society, no longer a "We Can" America.  Everyday there are opportunities to do the nasty.  The problem is will she let you?

  So you have all these excuses, yet you don't want your marriage to end.  Well the biggest thing you have to do is reconnect with your partner.  This is a big concept with a great deal of many small parts.  This requires work and effort on your part.  But will result in a great deal of sex if your not a prick. 

  Number one reason sex is taken off the table by women is because they expect things you don't give them anymore.  Most women have told you in their top secret language we have no fucking clue how to read.  And because we haven't decoded their wants: Guess what, "NO MORE DOING THE NASTY".  Which causes the spiral of a loveless marriage ending with the divorce after all the kids leave.  Is it our fault we don't know the language of crazy?  That's debatable.  What isn't is taking our partners for granted, not doing anything nice for them.  Yes, we got married, they won and wenare now whipped.  We fight against this caging by not doing the things we are told to by our jailers.  We wait to be nagged and nagged before theyir throwing things.   Well our defiance to our imprisonment is us rallying against authority, attempting to get our way without having to do anything.  Men I learned this is just a slow way in killing ourselves.  I find that doing what is necessary without being told gives me a lot less bitching and a lot more sexy presents.  I'm well trained but I'm also well rewarded. 

  Reconnecting means doing things you don't have to, without the expectation of something in return.  "What the hell?".  Remember the end goal, Porn Sex.  Just because you took the trash out last week without being told doesn't mean your going to get a reward.  Women don't understand that if they want us to do things we need positive reinforcement.  We have to train them to do this.  And taking out the trash regularly doesn't deserve a treat in their irrational world.  For a reward it means you do all your chores without being told, and do the ones she hates the most for at least a month.  Once this month is over you can't drop her chores like a bad habit you have to drop one a week or so so it's not obvious.  We don't want her expecting you took over her chores.  Women have a problem with selective memory disease.  They only remember the shit you did bad, because you don't do enough good to counteract the bad.  Why give them a reason to talk shit.  This is the first small step in reconnecting.  The trick is to balance it without overdoing it.  If you do something long enough women come to expect it.  And as Chris Rock said, women do not go backwards.  Take the kids once a month on an all day trip, leaving a note and a flower to relax and take the day to do nothing (This takes some skill as you have to get everything prepped before you leave and with young kids this is a hurricane rapped in a tornado.)  Doing these small things similar to this randomly sets the tone letting your partner know you want to get rid of the kids for a weekend.  But it also signals to a woman that you care and you appreciate them (I don't know why but that's what it means).  Which wants to spend the weekend with you.   

  When this weekend happens don't make it about sex.  Make it about you and your partner.  Making it about "having" a good time implies sex later.  But you aren't home free and you have to continue to set the tone.  Remember your training her to reward you with all your hard work.  Don't screw it up. 

  Make sure the week before your weekend: talk/text, clearly telling each other what you want out of the weekend.  If you say naked porn action right off the bat your fucked and I can't help you because your a dumb ass.  Make sure you include a TV series you both can tolerate or movies.  Things that keep you at home or in a hotel room.  Having a weekend without kids, means you need to decompress.  If your still like to go out drinking make sure this option is put in on your recovery day.  Your partner wants to spend time with you.  Having hours of TV gives them that and you don't even have to talk.  Having a weekend on the couch catching up on Game of Thrones or Mike and Molly with a few glasses of wine/bear/liquor gives you better odds of some naked time.

  Make sure a dinner is in there as well.    For some reason women have this notion they have to be wine and dinned.  So to reconnect we have to do this.  Now it doesn't have to be a flashy, break the bank kinda thing.  Your trip can be to the grocery store for dinner ingredients, the redbox for movies.  The key is to sleep in and spend all your time together.  If your relationship is on tenuous ground, most of the time you will have to talk about things that are not personal.  Politics, food, What would be a cool place to visit, etc.  This is a reconnection not an inquisition unless you want a full out should we stay together weekend.  For most of us life just got in the way and we forgot about keeping each other in orbit.

  Now that you have your weekend and life comes back to invade your world you still need to do the things you did before to keep that reconnection alive and healthy.  Which means buying a bunch of roses randomly every few months to say I love you.  Doing your chores without being told (this will be the hardest but is also the most important).  Remember begging for sex is beneath us.  Our partners should want to fornicate with us and by doing the small things right without fuss we train them to give us what we want: SEX.

  Remember this if nothing else: Women gauge a man's love for them by what is done for them.  Men gauge a woman's love for them by how much dirty sex they get. 

-Brought to you by RudestDad

Monday, May 7, 2012

Is America Stupid?

  If you get all your information on things from FOX News or CNN than you are not informed.  You are being bias.  If your bias and don't read all the information except what you are given, then you are STUPID.  When's the last time you made a decision that wasn't influenced by a 30 second spot on TV, an ad in a magazine or a blurb on the radio?  When is the last time you read the research behind the information you are given?  Just because you believe something to be true, DOES NOT MAKE IT TRUE!

  Truth is a subjective matter in America as we learned in Return of the Jedi.  Perspective on our issues is an easier thing said than done because we are kept so busy with work, kids, errands, wife, in-laws, sports, etc.  We seek something that is in-line with our values, the things we have been raised to believe.  When is the last time you asked questions on the most important choices in your life?  When's the last time you questioned the choices you make every day?  How do you relate to the world around you?  How educated are you, not how educated you think you are? When is the last time you tried everything first before making a decision instead of swallowing what you where raised or told to believe?  In a world where more information is accessible than ever before we are more susceptible in ignoring the truth. 

  As a parent making a decision in how I raise my child is not something I take likely.  I have an end goal in how my child will turn out.  Not only do I want my child capable of being successful, I want them to have a good foundation in how to decipher, process and make a decision that will be beneficial to them and those in their life.  But without a foundation in knowledge how can I expect my kid to be able to be successful.  If I don't demonstrate a positive role model, how can I expect my kid to be better than me. The days of having a 6th grade education in America is over.  Without the letters behind your name you can't even be considered for a job regardless of your experience and ability.  The last economic crash has facilitated this understanding.  Denying this basic fact only shows your ignorance of America.  Making sure your child has those letters is an important part of being a parent. 

  With the new presidential debate coming this November we are going to have to make an educated decision based on facts.  But we must do so based on an education of who these two men are and what they really stand for.  The choices we make will not only effect our country in a pivotal point in our economy but throughout the world as we have been at war for over 10 years and could continue for generations with the next election.  This election will set the tone for our children as the way our children are educated will be a hot topic in the coming years with the "No Child Left Behind Act" coming into play.

  This being said:  Is America Stupid?  Look at our country as a whole, what drives you to buy the biggest TV on the block and the newest gadget, the newest trend, or the tons of other worthless shit we don't need.  I know I'm doing the same as you.  I buy the shit I don't need everyday and scold myself for doing that.  My kids got more toys than the 3rd world country and yet when his birthday comes I add to the collection.  Does this make me stupid.  Well if I choose a pile of crap rather than putting my money away into saving so one day I may retire.  Yes that makes me Stupid.  Am I always an idiot?  I try not to be, but sometimes I need to buy myself something to make me feel better.  But God Dammit, its the American Way to buy, to make ourselves feel better through spending.  This thinking is a LIE, I am STUPID because I believe this!

  The American Way is not to buy and spend until we are broke and borrowing money from people who charge 30% interest.  When did the mob infiltrate corporate America?  When did I realize I was an addict to the corporate tit?  (But titties are so nice.  Especially the big ones that have all the right stuff.)  That's not America.  America is about earning what we have, socking money away so we can retire and enjoy our grandchildren.  America over the last 20 years has moved from a Country of hardworking rugged men to a pile of stupid people subservient to metro-sexual bullshit.  Men don't Shop.  Men build things, move things and drink beer afterwards as we talk about what a great job we did.  We know when we are being cheated and stand tall against ignorance, haters and liars.

  Until we reclaim America's true values of earning rather than taking.  Building instead of destroying.  Educated rather than ignorant.  Galvanizing Creativity rather than dampening imagination.   America will remain Stupid until we embrace the values we lost somewhere along the way.  

Friday, April 20, 2012

What Else Does This Look Like?


This is a corpse flower that blooms every 40 years.  Georgia O'Keef wishes she painted something like this.  I'm curious to know if what is jutting out of the petals was in stop motion.