Kids in General and Something other then Electricity

Hey Fellas,

 Kids in general are smelly, sticky and loud.  The only ones I seem to be able to stand are my own.  Why?  There are several factors that play into this but the most important one is that I love them for some unknown reason.

  This is a fickle thing about kids: They are there no matter what.  The difference between my kids and yours is what you deem appropriate.  What I would think as wrong in my home, would be perfectly okay in yours.  Personal I go with the idea that kids are better off seen and not heard.  The problem with this is that they are not simple robots or Nick Knacks you can put on a shelf.  They have feelings (hate those) and desires (hate those too) that often conflict with yours (say watching the game).  This in lies the problem: How can I be me and still have them.  This is a story as old as time.  The problem now is that a man can't make the money with the wife taking care of the kids.  We actually have to be involved and not come in with fire and brimstone when they begin sowing their oats disrespecting the wife.  As much as we dislike this and are completely evolutionary ill equipped we deal as we always have:  "Come here child and watch TV with me."

  This is a bonding experience we all have with our children.  Just the other night I watched The Cosby Show with my oldest kid and realized I should let Bill raise my kids as he and Clare are much more equipped than I.  The problem is I don't have the DVR space to record every episode.  Priorities right.  So I have to do it the old fashion way, actually interact with my own children.

  To be fair Kids are what we make them.  So if I act like a lump on the couch, I'm pretty sure my kids are going to be lumps on the couch.  My recommendation is wait until they are passable (about 5 they turn into something resembling a human) in public and start taking them to places that are free such as a museum, a park, a river, hiking tails, mountains, etc.  And if they cry and complain find something they want to do.  Remember when you have been a lump on a couch for years you have to start nice and slow.  You can't go from TV, video games and ipods to roughing it for a month on a trail.  Start slow with short time frames of interactions without any immediate gratification.  If I want to eventually go to a museum I will have to start say at a Farmer's Market, an Art Fair, a car show, a Festival (of something or other) .  A kid's natural habitat is the wild.  So don't start in the inner city unless you live there (if you do, do the reverse of what I just said: Don't take them to the country until they know what a tree is).  There is always something going on for cheap if not free.  The problem is knowing where to look.  Start using that computer for something other than porn.

Rudest Dad