There are numerous things on yahoo and other sites that talk about the top 10 things you should buy or what you should be doing in a relationship. That's a bunch of hooey. Top 5 things your wife and you should be doing in your relationship and Why.
1. Putting your relationship before the kids: There's this saying: we can have more kids, but you can't find a new soul mate. That's the truth. If you think you have a soul mate and are in love with your wife, you should put each other first. Fuck the kids. Because when parents are happy with each other you role model healthy relationships for your kids which in turn teaches them the value of a healthy relationship.
2. Being affectionate with your partner consistently: Men equate love with physical contact. Telling your husband you love him is not the same. Men work on this principle: Action. You can say whatever you want, but if there is no follow through with cuddles and simple scratches behind the ears you push your man away. Women on the other hand equate love with the time you spend with them listening to their problems. Common complaint of divorce women, "He never listened to me." Cuddle on the couch and let her talk about her problems. Win-Win.
3. Show off the goods: Men are visual creatures. We see women dressed with exposed legs and thighs are libido kicks in. Have your husband's libido kick in on you and not the other girl. Women tend to like us clean and maintained. Clean up your look, shave the inside of your ears and pluck the uni brow. Women and men after having children, having been married for years become complacent and conservative in their attitudes and dress. Leading most people to gain 50+ pounds. This leads to some stale times in a marriage.
4. Be rewarded every time we do something for you: We learned in psych 101 that you can condition any slightly intelligent creature using two basic reinforcements. If you have a honey-do list and he completes it you shouldn't bitch and moan or give him more work as this is negative reinforcement, teaching us that these lists of yours suck, hence we come to despise them. Once we completes a honey-do list a reward for our efforts is necessary for us to not necessary enjoy them but know there is something waiting after a good job. Men this means acknowledging and praising your wife when she changes the drapes, puts up decorations or completes a project at work. Praise and tell her how awesome she is.
5. Put in the Effort: Kids, work, chores, bills, life have a tendency to suck your life and soul right out of you. Being in a marriage means that you have someone to lean on. But like everything else this requires effort. A good way to gain more energy and spend time together is to work out. This is easily done in the living room with the kids screaming and trying to kill themselves through the numerous brilliant ideas they come up with. Putting in 30 minutes everyday working out together lets each other know your committed to each other.
Many of these things are simple basic concepts we all do when we start dating in our youth with little care about things like bills and kids. With all the things in life we start having to deal with once we become responsible adults we tend to lose sight of the things that brought you to that point in your life in the first place, your relationship with your partner. If you don't take care of your significant other, everything your life is built on seems to come apart all at once. Don't wait until you have to seek professional help that will cost you $100+ a week, making you shovel tons of built up anger and resentment to remember why you liked the person in the first place. Putting in a little daily work will save you hours and thousands of dollars later.
-Rudest Dad
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