This is a corpse flower that blooms every 40 years. Georgia O'Keef wishes she painted something like this. I'm curious to know if what is jutting out of the petals was in stop motion.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
What's For Dinner
As the world spins, gas goes up and the prices on everything rises. Dinner being the only meal many of us have together has been found to be the actual difference between having a criminal as a child or not. As most crime occurs between the time of 3-8pm. But not everyone and everything can work out between sports, schools, work and adolescents, but making the effort is the most important part. Anyone can become a good cook regardless if you have a history of burning water. There are countless of recipes out there to improve your repertoire from cereal and peanut butter and jellies sandwiches to Sesame Chicken and homemade BBQ Sauce. Even if you don't like to cook dinner after a long day putting forth the effort will decrease crime, improve your relationship with your family and most of all teach you new skills.
1. Own the Kitchen. The biggest trick to cooking is making the kitchen yours. Own the space and having good tunes on the radio will only help reduce your desire to sit on the cough and watch a game. Making the kitchen a place you want to be rather than the dungeon of hell were you feed the monsters you call kids is the first step. In my experience women are no longer the masters of the kitchen. More and more men are taking the responsibility of making good food. Plus if you cook the food you don't have to do the dishes!
2. Make a Menu. Knowing what you are going to cook is better than looking at your fridge and throwing something together. Granted there will be nights of such events with cold cereal, they shouldn't be every night. As long as there are more hot meals than cold your on point. Make a menu for the week or if you got a screwed up schedule make it for the length you need it to be (I work on a 2 week meal schedule). Not only will this allow you to have a game plan saving you 20 minutes or more for the TV, it will also decrease your grocery bill along with the number of visits which will put more money in your pocket than into the pocket of the Asshole Gas Companies.
3. Learn the Skills. Take the time to learn the skills necessary. Learning the basics such as how to cut/dice an onion and slice your meat along/against the grooves allows you greater variety in your menus. Youtube.com has videos galore on how to train you without taking a class. Instead of watching TV, watch a video on how to dice an onion. Scroll the websites for interesting things to make. Jalapeno Poppers and homemade fries are awesome. Cooking is all about practice. Plus cooking from scratch removes many of the preserves that make you fat and bloated. Here are a few of the best sites I know of:
www.allrecipes.com (My favorite)
www.food.com
www.ifood.tv
4. Everyone Participate. Have the kids set the table and learn the basic skills in manners, serving and dinner etiquette . Making them involved in the meal and preparing the food helps them feel connected to you and invest themselves in positive eating habits. If you get grief and anger from trying this make them sit at the table eat a with bowel of cereal why you enjoy a plate of something delirious. Being a parent doesn't mean you will tolerate disrespectful kids. The next time give them the option of setting the table so they may be part of dinner. Younger kids will find the idea of being old enough to have the responsibility to set the table a great drinks for everyone a great gift.
5. Converse. Promoting conversation between you, the kids and the wife promotes a happier life. Make sure your skin is thick and take the good with the bad. Talk about the food: find out how it could be better, why they hate their teacher and what would be an alternative to your meal. Cooking is a process and without critiques and criticism you can't get better. What it also does is allows you to test your taste against those of your family. Just because you love garlic and cheese in everything doesn't mean they will to. By sacrificing your tastes to align with yours, you will find they will sacrifice their tastes to be more in line with yours. Which if you believe in harmony will create less strife and a more cohesive family unit.
RudestDad
1. Own the Kitchen. The biggest trick to cooking is making the kitchen yours. Own the space and having good tunes on the radio will only help reduce your desire to sit on the cough and watch a game. Making the kitchen a place you want to be rather than the dungeon of hell were you feed the monsters you call kids is the first step. In my experience women are no longer the masters of the kitchen. More and more men are taking the responsibility of making good food. Plus if you cook the food you don't have to do the dishes!
2. Make a Menu. Knowing what you are going to cook is better than looking at your fridge and throwing something together. Granted there will be nights of such events with cold cereal, they shouldn't be every night. As long as there are more hot meals than cold your on point. Make a menu for the week or if you got a screwed up schedule make it for the length you need it to be (I work on a 2 week meal schedule). Not only will this allow you to have a game plan saving you 20 minutes or more for the TV, it will also decrease your grocery bill along with the number of visits which will put more money in your pocket than into the pocket of the Asshole Gas Companies.
3. Learn the Skills. Take the time to learn the skills necessary. Learning the basics such as how to cut/dice an onion and slice your meat along/against the grooves allows you greater variety in your menus. Youtube.com has videos galore on how to train you without taking a class. Instead of watching TV, watch a video on how to dice an onion. Scroll the websites for interesting things to make. Jalapeno Poppers and homemade fries are awesome. Cooking is all about practice. Plus cooking from scratch removes many of the preserves that make you fat and bloated. Here are a few of the best sites I know of:
www.allrecipes.com (My favorite)
www.food.com
www.ifood.tv
4. Everyone Participate. Have the kids set the table and learn the basic skills in manners, serving and dinner etiquette . Making them involved in the meal and preparing the food helps them feel connected to you and invest themselves in positive eating habits. If you get grief and anger from trying this make them sit at the table eat a with bowel of cereal why you enjoy a plate of something delirious. Being a parent doesn't mean you will tolerate disrespectful kids. The next time give them the option of setting the table so they may be part of dinner. Younger kids will find the idea of being old enough to have the responsibility to set the table a great drinks for everyone a great gift.
5. Converse. Promoting conversation between you, the kids and the wife promotes a happier life. Make sure your skin is thick and take the good with the bad. Talk about the food: find out how it could be better, why they hate their teacher and what would be an alternative to your meal. Cooking is a process and without critiques and criticism you can't get better. What it also does is allows you to test your taste against those of your family. Just because you love garlic and cheese in everything doesn't mean they will to. By sacrificing your tastes to align with yours, you will find they will sacrifice their tastes to be more in line with yours. Which if you believe in harmony will create less strife and a more cohesive family unit.
RudestDad
What the Hell
Why the hell does everyone in your life suck? From the guy driving in front of you to the toddler screaming who just likes to scream. Join me as I explore the endless debacle we call fatherhood with survival tips.
1. No matter what your child says it is not relevant to anything. But making the appropriate sounds that you are listening is not only a great trait to have your kid receive the necessary love and care they want and skills to mustering through the boring conversations you have with other people including your wife.
2. Kids yell because their kids. They don't need a reason and will yell and scream because they have no control of themselves. Yelling back or arguing with a child is the most useless thing you can do. Walk away or turn the music up louder than their scream. I recommend a good sound system or earphones for your ipod. Remember what they say is irrelevant. (P.S. This is more effective when the wife is not around.) and by engaging in this behavior you only reinforce it.
3. Utilize your Time Wisely. Driving in your car is the only vacation you get without your kids. Driving and screaming at the dumb ass in front of you means nothing except mo' problems. Take the time to scroll through your hair rock collection and play something fun. Because the drive to work is the only time you get to be by yourself. Find a way to enjoy it. Also kids love music even if you don't. Don't put in Farmer Fred and the other shit your shrink helps stimulate your child. Give them some practical knowledge and Rock out to your favorite tunes. Not only does this teach your kids the difference between shitty music and may prevent stupidity.
4. Just be there. Kids need and want parents to show them even when their cranky little snots. Have the understanding that a 3 year old is not going to be able to play Modern Warfare 3 with you. Put they can recite the entire collection of semi-automatic guns with you and what's Daddies favorite load out and why. Make them feel involved with whatever your doing won't stop you from getting your shit done.
5. Remember your the hero. The number 1 problem we forget is that kids look up to their fathers. If your a dead beat you have two options the kid wises up and goes in the opposite direction or becomes a deadbeat too. Boys want to be their fathers and girls want to marry their fathers. Place this into perspective and act how you want your kids to. This is by far the thing we as men forget the most. We don't have to be Superman, but we should be at least someone worth knowing.
RudestDad
1. No matter what your child says it is not relevant to anything. But making the appropriate sounds that you are listening is not only a great trait to have your kid receive the necessary love and care they want and skills to mustering through the boring conversations you have with other people including your wife.
2. Kids yell because their kids. They don't need a reason and will yell and scream because they have no control of themselves. Yelling back or arguing with a child is the most useless thing you can do. Walk away or turn the music up louder than their scream. I recommend a good sound system or earphones for your ipod. Remember what they say is irrelevant. (P.S. This is more effective when the wife is not around.) and by engaging in this behavior you only reinforce it.
3. Utilize your Time Wisely. Driving in your car is the only vacation you get without your kids. Driving and screaming at the dumb ass in front of you means nothing except mo' problems. Take the time to scroll through your hair rock collection and play something fun. Because the drive to work is the only time you get to be by yourself. Find a way to enjoy it. Also kids love music even if you don't. Don't put in Farmer Fred and the other shit your shrink helps stimulate your child. Give them some practical knowledge and Rock out to your favorite tunes. Not only does this teach your kids the difference between shitty music and may prevent stupidity.
4. Just be there. Kids need and want parents to show them even when their cranky little snots. Have the understanding that a 3 year old is not going to be able to play Modern Warfare 3 with you. Put they can recite the entire collection of semi-automatic guns with you and what's Daddies favorite load out and why. Make them feel involved with whatever your doing won't stop you from getting your shit done.
5. Remember your the hero. The number 1 problem we forget is that kids look up to their fathers. If your a dead beat you have two options the kid wises up and goes in the opposite direction or becomes a deadbeat too. Boys want to be their fathers and girls want to marry their fathers. Place this into perspective and act how you want your kids to. This is by far the thing we as men forget the most. We don't have to be Superman, but we should be at least someone worth knowing.
RudestDad
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