For years my wife has gotten piss as hell at me for having the ability to walk in and walk out of a store with presents people love. It blows her mind that I'm able to figure out what to buy someone. I'm here to let you know it's not a mystery in how I can do it. I'm here to help you figure out what to buy everyone on your Christmas List.
Picking a present for someone is about a few things. Will they like it? Is the person worth that much money? Do I know the person enough to get them a real present?
Money is one of the biggest issues. If you spend money on someone you don't want to receive something worth nothing. So when you shop have a price limit for each person. Next once you know your limit and have a good idea of the type of things the person will like ship around, especially on-line since whatever you find in the store is more than likely going to be cheaper on-line. Remember if you find a $100 dollar sweater for your mom for $20 your only cheating yourself by thinking you should get her something more. Your job isn't going to be giving you anymore money next year. This is something my wife and argue over every year. She thinks that regardless of what we pay for a present we should be spending a dollar amount. She would be satisfied if I paid $100 for the sweater, but because I found it for a deal she thinks my mom needs something else. This is why women are crazy.
When you start looking for the perfect present the biggest part is observation. What does the person like to do? What would they like to do? What are they always talking about? What do they have on their desk, in their house, garage, etc?
Example 1: Joyce is a co-worker I have to buy a Secret Santa present for. The Problem is she's in accounting and I work in Sales. Step One: Recon. I need to find a reason to get to accounting to talk to Joe who's cubicle is next door to Joyce, this way I can sneak a peak at her desk that's plastered with pictures of her cats. Bingo a cat outfit or a bunch of cat toys or a gift card to pet smart. Most of the time you don't have to be a ninja about having to know what someone in your family or your friends like. Hopefully you know them well enough to answer the basic question: What do they like?
Observation works with everyone. Find out what they like or want to like and give them something they will more than likely use. If the person loves to cook than TJ Max has nice kitchen ware on the cheap. If the person is a movie buff, tix to the theater. If the person is an alcoholic buy them their favorite bottle of liquor, bottle of wine or box of beer. If they are trendy than a trendy shirt. If their Retro than a vintage T-shirt. If their into their phones or music buy them an album or two on their download site like an iTunes card. If their outdoorsy than a good water bottle or a flannel shirt. If their avid readers than an E-reader from Amazon. If their big DIY people, offer a weekend of their choice of manual labor. The biggest thing is giving a present that represents them not you. If all else fails pick a gift card to one of their go to stores.
In this day and age we have old reliable: The Gift Card. These are great for that person who buys what they want throughout the year. The problem is your attached to the dollar amount unless you are able to find a deal. The reality is finding a discounted gift card only only happen on certain times of year and only a small fraction of the price, they don't give them away fro free. I'm cheap but understand the value of something. If I can find a $1000 camera for $100 dollars, doesn't change the fact the person is getting a $1000 camera. Remember just because you got it for cheap doesn't mean they need to know.
Giving a gift boils down to two things: 1) Observing the person long enough to know what they like, 2) Don't buy something you would like. Number 2 is probably the hardest thing to get past as our Egos in this era has given us a selfish streak we have trouble giving up. I struggle with this myself. The other day when I was shopping in the liquor store, I'm shopping for someone who drinks Whiskey, but I like Bourbon. (Yes their is a difference and if you don't know you might want to educate yourself. Liquor is like wine for those with the ability to drink.) Because of my own selfishness I almost didn't buy the Jack Daniel's Single Barrel. This is one of the biggest fights you face when picking presents for others especially if you either A) don't like the person or B) don't know the person.
Picking the perfect Present for everyone on your Christmas List is all about giving them something they will like.
Hope this Helps,
Rudest Dad
Monday, December 9, 2013
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Put the Lust Back into Your Marriage
Long ago when you met your significant other you couldn't keep your hands
off each other. Today you're more concerned about what you're going to have
for dinner than pleasing your partner sexually. This is not unusual for a
couple that has been together for a long time, who have kids, a demanding work
schedule and think maintenance sex is the only sex they have time for. I'm here to tell you that you are wrong my
friend. The problem is most people after the lust phase of their
relationship have trouble rekindling that hot for your body highs again because
well let's face it, you know what they are going to do and how they like to do
it.
So if you want to lust up your marriage or relationship you and your partner are going to have to talk about sex with all the dirty nasty creepy things you want to do to each other. After a decade or more you should be comfortable with talking about sexy, if not you need to start and this maybe the big reason you only have maintenance sex. If you're prudish stop reading now and move on.
Once you establish a dialogue, or plan to start one on such and such date be honest. "I really like it when you do this... and don't like it when you do that..." This is the start. Talk to each other about what turns you on. Whether it is him doing manual labor, playing with the kids, how they step out of the shower, when they comb their hair etc. But make sure you put what else turns you on like yoga pants on hot chicks in the mall or fire fighter calendars. (DO NOT JUDGE WHEN YOUR PARTNER TELLS YOU THESE THINGS. YOU ARE ESTABLISHING TRUST, SOMETHING YOU ARE MISSING IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW.) After this; move to the conversation on how you are going to change things up: "Well I really want to try this and put this there..." Now your partner may not be willing to try everything you suggest so don't put all your eggs in one basket. The most important part to recognize is that since your sex life is boring you are going to have to get freaky with each other and be willing to try things you have never thought you would try before. In the end you will find a greater closeness to your partner and rekindle that lusty part of your relationship that will make your kids say "gross". I think this is the best part of rekindling the lust: grossing out the kids when we kiss. It's a great feeling, but it also role models a positive relationship for your kids. Your choice in how you want to look at it.
Lingerie: If you are repressed in your sexual lives adding some lingerie can be a great way to start. The key is to become comfortable with yourselves. If your partner is willing to do this they are still attracted to you and adding a thin and sexy piece of clothing can go a long way. Tips: Shopping on line is a great way to research all the different styles. Don't buy on-line until you find out what your sizes are. Go out to a store and have your partner go try things then send you a picture to see if you like. If you are uncomfortable about doing this there are on-line sites that will be discrete about what they mail you.
Role Play: This can be from full costumes and dynamic characters to horny house wife and delivery man. There are all types of different scenarios out there for you to try. Just pretending to be someone else is not you violating your wedding vows. It's finding out you are human. Why do you think the movie industry is so popular. We enjoy watching people pretend to be someone else, to be lost in the moment of the character. Why can't you.
Watch Porn: Yep I said it. Go on-line and buy a movie you think the both of you would like. If you are savvy enough you can get it on line from the numerous free sites out there. Watching others do it may want you to do it too. Just remember never download porn from the internet, stream it.
Have Sex in Public: This doesn't mean doing it in the middle of the grocery store, but the handicap stall in the bathroom of the super market is fair game. If you are uncomfortable about this go in around midnight in a 24 hour box store or go to the grocery store around 8-9 when everyone else is getting ready for bed. There are all types of places you can take advantage of such as a roof of a large apartment building, just make sure you put something to stop the door from closing it's embarrassing when you get locked out.
Toys: More than likely your wife has a toy or something she uses to help her find bliss without you. There are a million and three types and styles out there. Look and find something you would want to try on each other or on just one of you. Don't be afraid to look, half the fun is getting over that embarrassment feeling. The on-line sites are good about not advertising what you bought and are cheaper too.
Bondage: For most people, the idea of being restrained, being completely at the mercy of your partner is scary and maybe something you are not willing to do. If you do this make rules and safe words (stop-blueberries; yield-hash browns; etc) to let each other know when they go too far or not far enough.
Erotic Stories: Little do you know that your local book store has an entire section dedicated to these types of books. Every type of sexual situation you are interested in, there's a story out there for you. Shit you can find amateur stuff on-line for free. If you're unsure about being seen with written erotica, the 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy is an acceptable erotic story every mother in America has read within the last year.
Make a Movie: For most of us our sex lives do not represent a porn. As wonderful and awesome as it looks on your TV, computer or phone, actual good sex is not capable of being captured on a camera well without the help of a third person. The best way to make a film is for you to film your partner pleasing themselves and visa-versa. Filming yourselves together with a camera sitting on a tri-pod or dresser is not very attractive. Sorry.
Photo Shoot: In the digital age you no longer have to take your film to the store to get developed. If you have bought a smart phone in the last year you have a high end camera on hand. This can be a great way to move up the rung with lingerie. Look at pictures and different photography techniques to help make your pictures great. Remember the more fun you have with this the greater your pictures will be.
Get Dolled Up: For most of us in a long term relationship we have seen each other at the worst points, snot dripping down our face, throwing up in the toilet and in that pair of underwear we refuse to give up. The only time we see each other looking good is when we leave for work in the morning and more often than not we're running late so where half dress going out the door. Get dressed up in your best suit and your wife's sexiest black dress, find a babysitter then go out to a nice restaurant you can barely afford.
Master and Servant: For some people, especially those in powerful position crave the need to be dominated by someone. To a degree I understand this as they need to let go, have someone else call the shots for a while. In the opposite direction some people need to be empowered to take control, to dominate another person for self-esteem issues. There's something in the human psyche that wars against inside of us to be dominant or submissive. This is something we associate with black leather and spikes, but actually requires nothing. If you decide this is something to try the same rules of bondage apply: create a contract or something that gives you guidelines in what you are willing and not willing to do. If you're really freaky don't heed this warning. Otherwise make sure to have safe words too.
New Positions: There are some people who never stray from their sexual positions. For most of us we find what works and stick to it. This is human nature but for those of us who need a change a different position can do it. The Karma Sutra, an ancient sex bible has identified over a 100 positions you can participate in. Some of them require some athletic ability but are really worth it if you can figure it out. Plus they make an app for that if you don't want to read the book.
Set time Aside: The most important thing is to make time for each other. This can be the hour after you put your kids to bed, or the hour in the morning before you wake them up, Sunday morning, etc, etc. I'm a big fan of filling this time with sexual exploits but sometimes you just need to hold hands while you watch a movie together.
Make Contact: Men need continual physical contact with compliments too. There is something in our male DNA we associate love with physical contact. The more contact your partner gives you; a hand to the back, a hug, a hand on the shoulder, snuggling on the couch while watching tv or the other thousand ways to do that, are important in rekindling the lust. Also make sure to complement each other at least twice a day, even if you don't want to. You may be having more sex but without this long term habit change you won't address the underlying problems that led to a drab relationship.
Get Over Your Hang Ups: Everyone has baggage. Being in a healthy relationship requires you to realize the person your with is not the person or the people you WHERE with. It would be awesome if you could wipe all the psychological damage those exes gave you. However because we can't we have to learn to trust our partner in the most intimate areas of our lives. Accept each other for your strengths and weaknesses. Hopefully if you have picked the right partner they will be strong in the areas you are week and yada-yada. Trust can only happen when you allow yourself to be vulnerable with your partner. Allowing them to see this part of you and them loving you for it. Part of the damage we earned through our years of living lead us to things we are not comfortable with or willing to deal with. Most women and some men have body image issues. This is going to be the biggest hang-up most of your wives are going to face, especially after giving birth. Inexperience and the fear of trying new things is a big one too.
Exercise: This can be very erotic in its own right. When you exercise you release endorphins into your system which make you happy. If you work out with your spouse you will be happy together. Plus the benefit of making yourselves look good with then allows you to perform in any position when you see each other naked is an added bonus. Remember women don't sweat they glisten.
Rekindling the lust in your relationship is not something that will happen without some old fashion hard work and collaboration in rediscovering your significant other. Let's face it, if you do the same thing long enough you are going to get bored, its human nature to seek out and have new experiences. The question is: Are you going to do that with your partner or go find that somewhere else?
So if you want to lust up your marriage or relationship you and your partner are going to have to talk about sex with all the dirty nasty creepy things you want to do to each other. After a decade or more you should be comfortable with talking about sexy, if not you need to start and this maybe the big reason you only have maintenance sex. If you're prudish stop reading now and move on.
Once you establish a dialogue, or plan to start one on such and such date be honest. "I really like it when you do this... and don't like it when you do that..." This is the start. Talk to each other about what turns you on. Whether it is him doing manual labor, playing with the kids, how they step out of the shower, when they comb their hair etc. But make sure you put what else turns you on like yoga pants on hot chicks in the mall or fire fighter calendars. (DO NOT JUDGE WHEN YOUR PARTNER TELLS YOU THESE THINGS. YOU ARE ESTABLISHING TRUST, SOMETHING YOU ARE MISSING IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW.) After this; move to the conversation on how you are going to change things up: "Well I really want to try this and put this there..." Now your partner may not be willing to try everything you suggest so don't put all your eggs in one basket. The most important part to recognize is that since your sex life is boring you are going to have to get freaky with each other and be willing to try things you have never thought you would try before. In the end you will find a greater closeness to your partner and rekindle that lusty part of your relationship that will make your kids say "gross". I think this is the best part of rekindling the lust: grossing out the kids when we kiss. It's a great feeling, but it also role models a positive relationship for your kids. Your choice in how you want to look at it.
Lingerie: If you are repressed in your sexual lives adding some lingerie can be a great way to start. The key is to become comfortable with yourselves. If your partner is willing to do this they are still attracted to you and adding a thin and sexy piece of clothing can go a long way. Tips: Shopping on line is a great way to research all the different styles. Don't buy on-line until you find out what your sizes are. Go out to a store and have your partner go try things then send you a picture to see if you like. If you are uncomfortable about doing this there are on-line sites that will be discrete about what they mail you.
Role Play: This can be from full costumes and dynamic characters to horny house wife and delivery man. There are all types of different scenarios out there for you to try. Just pretending to be someone else is not you violating your wedding vows. It's finding out you are human. Why do you think the movie industry is so popular. We enjoy watching people pretend to be someone else, to be lost in the moment of the character. Why can't you.
Watch Porn: Yep I said it. Go on-line and buy a movie you think the both of you would like. If you are savvy enough you can get it on line from the numerous free sites out there. Watching others do it may want you to do it too. Just remember never download porn from the internet, stream it.
Have Sex in Public: This doesn't mean doing it in the middle of the grocery store, but the handicap stall in the bathroom of the super market is fair game. If you are uncomfortable about this go in around midnight in a 24 hour box store or go to the grocery store around 8-9 when everyone else is getting ready for bed. There are all types of places you can take advantage of such as a roof of a large apartment building, just make sure you put something to stop the door from closing it's embarrassing when you get locked out.
Toys: More than likely your wife has a toy or something she uses to help her find bliss without you. There are a million and three types and styles out there. Look and find something you would want to try on each other or on just one of you. Don't be afraid to look, half the fun is getting over that embarrassment feeling. The on-line sites are good about not advertising what you bought and are cheaper too.
Bondage: For most people, the idea of being restrained, being completely at the mercy of your partner is scary and maybe something you are not willing to do. If you do this make rules and safe words (stop-blueberries; yield-hash browns; etc) to let each other know when they go too far or not far enough.
Erotic Stories: Little do you know that your local book store has an entire section dedicated to these types of books. Every type of sexual situation you are interested in, there's a story out there for you. Shit you can find amateur stuff on-line for free. If you're unsure about being seen with written erotica, the 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy is an acceptable erotic story every mother in America has read within the last year.
Make a Movie: For most of us our sex lives do not represent a porn. As wonderful and awesome as it looks on your TV, computer or phone, actual good sex is not capable of being captured on a camera well without the help of a third person. The best way to make a film is for you to film your partner pleasing themselves and visa-versa. Filming yourselves together with a camera sitting on a tri-pod or dresser is not very attractive. Sorry.
Photo Shoot: In the digital age you no longer have to take your film to the store to get developed. If you have bought a smart phone in the last year you have a high end camera on hand. This can be a great way to move up the rung with lingerie. Look at pictures and different photography techniques to help make your pictures great. Remember the more fun you have with this the greater your pictures will be.
Get Dolled Up: For most of us in a long term relationship we have seen each other at the worst points, snot dripping down our face, throwing up in the toilet and in that pair of underwear we refuse to give up. The only time we see each other looking good is when we leave for work in the morning and more often than not we're running late so where half dress going out the door. Get dressed up in your best suit and your wife's sexiest black dress, find a babysitter then go out to a nice restaurant you can barely afford.
Master and Servant: For some people, especially those in powerful position crave the need to be dominated by someone. To a degree I understand this as they need to let go, have someone else call the shots for a while. In the opposite direction some people need to be empowered to take control, to dominate another person for self-esteem issues. There's something in the human psyche that wars against inside of us to be dominant or submissive. This is something we associate with black leather and spikes, but actually requires nothing. If you decide this is something to try the same rules of bondage apply: create a contract or something that gives you guidelines in what you are willing and not willing to do. If you're really freaky don't heed this warning. Otherwise make sure to have safe words too.
New Positions: There are some people who never stray from their sexual positions. For most of us we find what works and stick to it. This is human nature but for those of us who need a change a different position can do it. The Karma Sutra, an ancient sex bible has identified over a 100 positions you can participate in. Some of them require some athletic ability but are really worth it if you can figure it out. Plus they make an app for that if you don't want to read the book.
Set time Aside: The most important thing is to make time for each other. This can be the hour after you put your kids to bed, or the hour in the morning before you wake them up, Sunday morning, etc, etc. I'm a big fan of filling this time with sexual exploits but sometimes you just need to hold hands while you watch a movie together.
Make Contact: Men need continual physical contact with compliments too. There is something in our male DNA we associate love with physical contact. The more contact your partner gives you; a hand to the back, a hug, a hand on the shoulder, snuggling on the couch while watching tv or the other thousand ways to do that, are important in rekindling the lust. Also make sure to complement each other at least twice a day, even if you don't want to. You may be having more sex but without this long term habit change you won't address the underlying problems that led to a drab relationship.
Get Over Your Hang Ups: Everyone has baggage. Being in a healthy relationship requires you to realize the person your with is not the person or the people you WHERE with. It would be awesome if you could wipe all the psychological damage those exes gave you. However because we can't we have to learn to trust our partner in the most intimate areas of our lives. Accept each other for your strengths and weaknesses. Hopefully if you have picked the right partner they will be strong in the areas you are week and yada-yada. Trust can only happen when you allow yourself to be vulnerable with your partner. Allowing them to see this part of you and them loving you for it. Part of the damage we earned through our years of living lead us to things we are not comfortable with or willing to deal with. Most women and some men have body image issues. This is going to be the biggest hang-up most of your wives are going to face, especially after giving birth. Inexperience and the fear of trying new things is a big one too.
Exercise: This can be very erotic in its own right. When you exercise you release endorphins into your system which make you happy. If you work out with your spouse you will be happy together. Plus the benefit of making yourselves look good with then allows you to perform in any position when you see each other naked is an added bonus. Remember women don't sweat they glisten.
Rekindling the lust in your relationship is not something that will happen without some old fashion hard work and collaboration in rediscovering your significant other. Let's face it, if you do the same thing long enough you are going to get bored, its human nature to seek out and have new experiences. The question is: Are you going to do that with your partner or go find that somewhere else?
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Picking a Cell Phone and Provider
Once again you have reached the end of your cell phone contract. You are now facing a decision that will dictate the next 2 years of your life. Here's some basic facts you should know and the questions you need to ask yourself to make sure your pick will be something you can live with.
Facts:
1. The big three (AT&T; Verizon; Sprint) allow you to upgrade your phone several months before your old contract actually expires. If you are happy with your bill and service than this is a good option if your phone is looking less than stellar.
2. If you pick a plan without a contract, your will be paying full price for your phone. The reason why you pay so little for your cell phone with a contract is that you are paying for the phone in installments through your contract. Plus cell phone companies get the phones at a subsidized price from the company. Not everyone can pay $1000 upfront for their phones.
3. Your plan may not be the best one out there. Once your contract is up you have every legal right to switch companies and keep your phone number. Regardless of what the cell phone provider says. You are the proprietor of your cell phone number. Just make sure you don't tell them first. Large companies have a strong legal system that will screw the average person. Just go to whichever company you want to switch too and do it. You don't need your previous provider's permission. This is a financial decision not a personal one. Cell phone companies don't have any loyalty to you. If they can they will try to keep you but not at the expense of lowering any prices.
Questions You need to ask and Answer honestly:
1. Is my current plan worth what I'm paying for it? I'm personally a data hog, therefore I need unlimited data so I don't get screwed with overage costs, therefore Sprint is a good option for me as they have unlimited data plans cheap. If your talker not a down loader you might go with something different. Verizon "offer's" these options, but if you check with other companies you realize you will pay twice as much with Verizon as you do with others, but they offer the best reception of the big three.
2. Can I get service when I need it? If you live, work and stay primarily in a city and the surrounding counties this isn't really a question for you. You can even have 4Lte service for your phone. If you however live in a rural area and need good service throughout because of work or other reasons picking and paying for the service is worth it. Here's a good trick. Find out which of your friends has what service, than invite them over either for a party or individually. Gradually work their phone service into a conversation and find out if they have service where you live. Don't go with a service when you can't get reception at your own home.
3. What type of phone do I need? The ultimate question for those of you who don't really follow the tech markets. I'm a full function smartphone person. My phone does everything plus has a strong enough battery for me to be on it all day, that's a 16 hour + day. Before my current needs I was very happy with a talk/text plan. Now I'm spoiled and having butt loads of data is awesome, but I use it, too. Having the bells and whistles is great if you use it. Don't buy something you won't use because you are just going to get confused. Your phone is a reflection of you and your life. If you don't need a smart phone don't get a smartphone. There are great phones out there that don't require data. Spend the time looking at the options. Touch and feel the options out there. Best Buy is a great store to do this as they display them all over the place and carry all the providers. The basic question comes down to which operating system you want.
4. Android, iOS, Windows? Each of these phones have specific specs that give you very different experiences. Are you a tinker and like to fully open your phone to all it's ability or do you just need it to work without you screwing it up? Your operating system (OS) comes down to this: What do I play music from. My wife moved us to iTunes and because of this I go with iPhone's because if I pick another phone I will never be able to access my music. This is the true question: Where do I keep and get my music from? Do you pay for internet Radio, do you work out and have a play list you listen to. Your smartphone is integrating your electronics into one device. What OS is best for you? This will be the true question that needs to be asked. If you don't do the whole music thing than you are freed up to pick the phone you want.
5. Am I a pocket person, a holster person, a bag person, or I take so many phone calls I keep it in my hand? Where do you keep your phone when your walking around? This is an important because of the size question. I'm a pocket person, so a phone the size of a tablet is not really going to work for me. My wife has a purse so size is really not a question. My mom is blind as a bat so she's got a really big phone. Like everything their are options out there for you. If you are a giant they have a phone that won't feel like a gnat. If you are petite they have a phone for you too. Don't get a phone that looks like you are giant or a phone that shows off how small your hands really are.
6. How many people are going to be on my plan? I have everyone in my family plus my mother on my phone plan. Therefore I need a plan that will carry unlimited texting for the kids, lots of data for me and plenty of talk time for my mother and wife. Kids tend to text so having kids means unlimited texting. Don't get caught with a $6,000 phone bill because you wanted to save 5 extra dollars on 200 texts per month when you have a kid(s). Texts cost cell phone companies nothing like .0001 of a cent but they have no problem charging you .25 cents or more on the dollar for each one you send and receive. This goes for phone calls and data too. Know your limits and don't expect kids to know theirs.
7. How clumsy are the people on the plan? I've literally seen children drop their phones to show their friends that Daddy or Mommy will go out and get them a new phone. Personally if my kid breaks his phone he ain't getting another one. You know why, because shit like that doesn't fly with me. However my wife drops everything, it's her nature. I don't on the other hand. I just turned in a phone without a scratch getting a 170 bucks toward a new phone. If you are clumsy or you have children you will need to invest in insurance. The deductible sucks but having to pay $1000 out of pocket sucks even more. Yes that is how much smart phones really cost. Even the talk/text phones cost in the $400 range. Get the Zagg Invishield along with a good case like Otterbox, Life Proof, Griffin Technology or G-Form. The cases like Life Proof and Griffin Technology don't require screens as they come with them, but are not cheap. The $50-$100 at purchase will more than likely save you a headache later on. Remember cases come with enough flair you don't need to worry about the actual phone color.
8. How much phone memory do I need? This is a good question. Normally 16g is a good number, but recently I've found that this is just not enough anymore, requiring me to upgrade to a 32g phone. Now because I picked an iPhone I don't have the option of upgrading my memory for my phone on the spot, where as if I picked a Galaxy 4s I can just buy a micro SD card and quadrupole my data. How many apps and information yo put on your phone is important for several reasons. 1) the more you have the more you can do with your phone; 2) the closer you are to your limits the slower your phone will operate; 3) If you destroy your phone by dropping it in water or getting run over by a truck having a detachable card allows you to pull the card and still have everything. If you just use your smart phone to call people than data is not a concern for you. If you live off your phone in the office and in your personal life having gigs of data is very important.
A cell phone at this point in life is not only a fashion accessory it is your access to the world while your on the go. And lets face it, we are on the go a hell of a lot of the time. Most people of Generation X and younger are are actually forgoing the traditional land line phone, moving to just the cell phone. You never miss a call unless you want to and don't need to deal with everyone trying to use the phone at the same time. Plus in this day and age of hyper-paranoia about our kids we can get a hold of them anytime, anywhere. The bottom line when your picking a cell phone and carrier is to make sure you get something you can afford each month, you get service where you need it and a phone that will last you years beyond your contract.
Facts:
1. The big three (AT&T; Verizon; Sprint) allow you to upgrade your phone several months before your old contract actually expires. If you are happy with your bill and service than this is a good option if your phone is looking less than stellar.
2. If you pick a plan without a contract, your will be paying full price for your phone. The reason why you pay so little for your cell phone with a contract is that you are paying for the phone in installments through your contract. Plus cell phone companies get the phones at a subsidized price from the company. Not everyone can pay $1000 upfront for their phones.
3. Your plan may not be the best one out there. Once your contract is up you have every legal right to switch companies and keep your phone number. Regardless of what the cell phone provider says. You are the proprietor of your cell phone number. Just make sure you don't tell them first. Large companies have a strong legal system that will screw the average person. Just go to whichever company you want to switch too and do it. You don't need your previous provider's permission. This is a financial decision not a personal one. Cell phone companies don't have any loyalty to you. If they can they will try to keep you but not at the expense of lowering any prices.
Questions You need to ask and Answer honestly:
1. Is my current plan worth what I'm paying for it? I'm personally a data hog, therefore I need unlimited data so I don't get screwed with overage costs, therefore Sprint is a good option for me as they have unlimited data plans cheap. If your talker not a down loader you might go with something different. Verizon "offer's" these options, but if you check with other companies you realize you will pay twice as much with Verizon as you do with others, but they offer the best reception of the big three.
2. Can I get service when I need it? If you live, work and stay primarily in a city and the surrounding counties this isn't really a question for you. You can even have 4Lte service for your phone. If you however live in a rural area and need good service throughout because of work or other reasons picking and paying for the service is worth it. Here's a good trick. Find out which of your friends has what service, than invite them over either for a party or individually. Gradually work their phone service into a conversation and find out if they have service where you live. Don't go with a service when you can't get reception at your own home.
3. What type of phone do I need? The ultimate question for those of you who don't really follow the tech markets. I'm a full function smartphone person. My phone does everything plus has a strong enough battery for me to be on it all day, that's a 16 hour + day. Before my current needs I was very happy with a talk/text plan. Now I'm spoiled and having butt loads of data is awesome, but I use it, too. Having the bells and whistles is great if you use it. Don't buy something you won't use because you are just going to get confused. Your phone is a reflection of you and your life. If you don't need a smart phone don't get a smartphone. There are great phones out there that don't require data. Spend the time looking at the options. Touch and feel the options out there. Best Buy is a great store to do this as they display them all over the place and carry all the providers. The basic question comes down to which operating system you want.
4. Android, iOS, Windows? Each of these phones have specific specs that give you very different experiences. Are you a tinker and like to fully open your phone to all it's ability or do you just need it to work without you screwing it up? Your operating system (OS) comes down to this: What do I play music from. My wife moved us to iTunes and because of this I go with iPhone's because if I pick another phone I will never be able to access my music. This is the true question: Where do I keep and get my music from? Do you pay for internet Radio, do you work out and have a play list you listen to. Your smartphone is integrating your electronics into one device. What OS is best for you? This will be the true question that needs to be asked. If you don't do the whole music thing than you are freed up to pick the phone you want.
5. Am I a pocket person, a holster person, a bag person, or I take so many phone calls I keep it in my hand? Where do you keep your phone when your walking around? This is an important because of the size question. I'm a pocket person, so a phone the size of a tablet is not really going to work for me. My wife has a purse so size is really not a question. My mom is blind as a bat so she's got a really big phone. Like everything their are options out there for you. If you are a giant they have a phone that won't feel like a gnat. If you are petite they have a phone for you too. Don't get a phone that looks like you are giant or a phone that shows off how small your hands really are.
6. How many people are going to be on my plan? I have everyone in my family plus my mother on my phone plan. Therefore I need a plan that will carry unlimited texting for the kids, lots of data for me and plenty of talk time for my mother and wife. Kids tend to text so having kids means unlimited texting. Don't get caught with a $6,000 phone bill because you wanted to save 5 extra dollars on 200 texts per month when you have a kid(s). Texts cost cell phone companies nothing like .0001 of a cent but they have no problem charging you .25 cents or more on the dollar for each one you send and receive. This goes for phone calls and data too. Know your limits and don't expect kids to know theirs.
7. How clumsy are the people on the plan? I've literally seen children drop their phones to show their friends that Daddy or Mommy will go out and get them a new phone. Personally if my kid breaks his phone he ain't getting another one. You know why, because shit like that doesn't fly with me. However my wife drops everything, it's her nature. I don't on the other hand. I just turned in a phone without a scratch getting a 170 bucks toward a new phone. If you are clumsy or you have children you will need to invest in insurance. The deductible sucks but having to pay $1000 out of pocket sucks even more. Yes that is how much smart phones really cost. Even the talk/text phones cost in the $400 range. Get the Zagg Invishield along with a good case like Otterbox, Life Proof, Griffin Technology or G-Form. The cases like Life Proof and Griffin Technology don't require screens as they come with them, but are not cheap. The $50-$100 at purchase will more than likely save you a headache later on. Remember cases come with enough flair you don't need to worry about the actual phone color.
8. How much phone memory do I need? This is a good question. Normally 16g is a good number, but recently I've found that this is just not enough anymore, requiring me to upgrade to a 32g phone. Now because I picked an iPhone I don't have the option of upgrading my memory for my phone on the spot, where as if I picked a Galaxy 4s I can just buy a micro SD card and quadrupole my data. How many apps and information yo put on your phone is important for several reasons. 1) the more you have the more you can do with your phone; 2) the closer you are to your limits the slower your phone will operate; 3) If you destroy your phone by dropping it in water or getting run over by a truck having a detachable card allows you to pull the card and still have everything. If you just use your smart phone to call people than data is not a concern for you. If you live off your phone in the office and in your personal life having gigs of data is very important.
A cell phone at this point in life is not only a fashion accessory it is your access to the world while your on the go. And lets face it, we are on the go a hell of a lot of the time. Most people of Generation X and younger are are actually forgoing the traditional land line phone, moving to just the cell phone. You never miss a call unless you want to and don't need to deal with everyone trying to use the phone at the same time. Plus in this day and age of hyper-paranoia about our kids we can get a hold of them anytime, anywhere. The bottom line when your picking a cell phone and carrier is to make sure you get something you can afford each month, you get service where you need it and a phone that will last you years beyond your contract.
Friday, November 1, 2013
Work Bag
As a para professional I've been required to do work at home. Because of this I am in need of a bag to carry to and from work. Due to me being a para professional I can pick any bag and no one says anything to me about my style or it doesn't look awful in a suit I don't wear. For Professionals a soft leather case is the way to go, sorry no back packs for you. Your bag is probably the most important thing as it is what people will see, therefore you want to represent yourself to the world as you know what the hell is going on even if you don't. The second most important thing is what you put in it. It doesn't matter if the farthest you walk is a few hundred feet from your car, if you have to carry things you will be seen and people make assumptions based on what they see. So don't give people a reason to doubt.
Your Bag:
Lets face it, people judge, especially in competitive environments. To make yourself above approach you need to look the part. This is why the bag needs to represent you. I preach a good day back in the 35L - 40L range of a good make. If you are flamboyant there are plenty of styles out there for you. If you are reserve a dark solid color is the way to go. If you not sure they have something out there for you. Spend the money because a good bag will last you for years. I don't like sling bags or messenger bags as it doesn't distribute the weight and they look like purses, and men don't wear purses no matter what the Europeans and current fashion says.
What goes in your bag:
As every professional knows a laptops are for primary use and tablets are a novelty. If you are effective with a tablet or wish to be I give you props. My hands are just to big to type on those little keyboards. If you are old school a Leather zippered portfolio is a good option. Personally I keep one in my bag when I have to transport files and hard copies, they tend to fit tablets as well without to much fuss.
The remainder of the things in your bag support your primary equipment (laptop, tablet, etc). You will need to include chargers for your phone, tablet, laptop and whatever electronics you carry. If you are wise you are trying to double up on your products to reduce cords. If you have a windows tablet and an iPhone you need two cords, but you only need one plug in as most chargers are USB cords plugging into a base. You should have a male to male 3.5mm jack, a good set of headphones, flashlight, a multi-tool (if work permits), 2-3 pens, 2-3 pencils, pink pet, lunch and a bottle of your favorite pain killer (Advil, Tylenol, Aleve, etc, vitamins, tums, etc), along with a minimum of a 4g flash drive unless you deal in large volume data than you might want to have a portable hard drive as well. Last but not lease you want laptop sleeves that are thick. I know that many bags have these pockets but I've not found one I'm comfortable with, double padding can't hurt. (If you are a backpacker you need to find one's with the opening on the end, messengers on the side.) Many of the bags padding will make uncomfortable to use because of their placement in the bag and not enough padding make it feel fragile on your back. Also you want a sleeve for your tablet as well which will more than likely go in the main compartment. If you have a nice leather bag these sleeves are going to be important to make sure your life doesn't end up in pieces.
Depending on your laptop, lunch and tablet your bag shouldn't weight more than 10lbs. This is key based on your physical health. Your bag should not be weighed down by useless things. Your bag is a representation of you, not a burden.
Your Bag:
Lets face it, people judge, especially in competitive environments. To make yourself above approach you need to look the part. This is why the bag needs to represent you. I preach a good day back in the 35L - 40L range of a good make. If you are flamboyant there are plenty of styles out there for you. If you are reserve a dark solid color is the way to go. If you not sure they have something out there for you. Spend the money because a good bag will last you for years. I don't like sling bags or messenger bags as it doesn't distribute the weight and they look like purses, and men don't wear purses no matter what the Europeans and current fashion says.
What goes in your bag:
As every professional knows a laptops are for primary use and tablets are a novelty. If you are effective with a tablet or wish to be I give you props. My hands are just to big to type on those little keyboards. If you are old school a Leather zippered portfolio is a good option. Personally I keep one in my bag when I have to transport files and hard copies, they tend to fit tablets as well without to much fuss.
The remainder of the things in your bag support your primary equipment (laptop, tablet, etc). You will need to include chargers for your phone, tablet, laptop and whatever electronics you carry. If you are wise you are trying to double up on your products to reduce cords. If you have a windows tablet and an iPhone you need two cords, but you only need one plug in as most chargers are USB cords plugging into a base. You should have a male to male 3.5mm jack, a good set of headphones, flashlight, a multi-tool (if work permits), 2-3 pens, 2-3 pencils, pink pet, lunch and a bottle of your favorite pain killer (Advil, Tylenol, Aleve, etc, vitamins, tums, etc), along with a minimum of a 4g flash drive unless you deal in large volume data than you might want to have a portable hard drive as well. Last but not lease you want laptop sleeves that are thick. I know that many bags have these pockets but I've not found one I'm comfortable with, double padding can't hurt. (If you are a backpacker you need to find one's with the opening on the end, messengers on the side.) Many of the bags padding will make uncomfortable to use because of their placement in the bag and not enough padding make it feel fragile on your back. Also you want a sleeve for your tablet as well which will more than likely go in the main compartment. If you have a nice leather bag these sleeves are going to be important to make sure your life doesn't end up in pieces.
Depending on your laptop, lunch and tablet your bag shouldn't weight more than 10lbs. This is key based on your physical health. Your bag should not be weighed down by useless things. Your bag is a representation of you, not a burden.
Monday, October 28, 2013
You're Having a Baby!!!!
Congratulations! You're having a baby! This is what everyone says when they find out your going to have a baby. What you're really feeling is this deep pit of anxiety that makes you want to piss your pants every time you think about it because lets face it, you have no idea what to expect.
Like most men you just can't bring yourself to look at the books your wife, baby mama, girlfriend, significant other or whatever you decided to call her (I would reframe from any succubus, soul sucking, or ruined my life verbage. It doesn't go over well.) has bought while you try to put the nursery together under their supervision.
Since you don't have time for a book, I've decided to break it down for you in a time line basis. Remember you have 18 plus years of living with the alien inside the woman's stomach that will come out.
Birth:
The first thing you need to know is that the birthing process is disgusting, agonizing and mind altering terrorizing to your psyche. Don't worry this is for the most part the scariest part, because unless you are a doctor, nurse or work in the health field all you know about babies is what you where taught in 8th grade Health. Let the doctor's and nurses do their thing, Stay out of the way, and don't faint. There is nothing magical about something the size of a watermelon coming out of your favorite wife's hole.
You will now have several days in the hospital for you to become adjusted to being a father, your wife to learn to attach the kid to the booby. Run through the basics. These will be your last days to sleep, take them, put the baby into the nursery as much as possible, she'll hate you for it then, will thank you later. Once home it's eat, sleep, poop every three hours and that's if your lucky.
0-6 Months:
Welcome to your wife never sleeping again, it's all your fault and sex was something you use to do if you breast feed. If you bottle feed you and your partner can take shifts, swapping. You're going to be cranky, tired and exhausted. Get use to this feeling because you are going to live in this haze for a while. If your wife is awesome and isn't working, she may allow you to sleep so you can go to work. If your wife is a bitch, I wish you luck.
6-9 Months:
This is the golden time where you get to catch up with some of that sleep you lost in the last 6 months. This is the napping phase of life. Your kid is awake, happy and can't move. You can lay it on the ground, walk away and come back to the kid being in the exact same place. This is the highlight of having kids, they will never be this still again.
9 months - 3 years:
If you have boys you will understand when I say this: Raise everything you want to keep, lock everything that is valuable and breakable into boxes filled with bubble wrap. Don't plan on having anything nice for a while. Louie C.K. said it best about boys, "Boy's are like Hurricane's you can measure the damage they do to your life in dollars," for they will destroy everything you have, smile and do it again. It's not out of malice, but of an honest curiosity to see how much stress objects can take before they break. If you have girls you don't have to go through this process. Girls apparently have this innate ability to be polite and respectful without needing to be yelled at, punished and/or spanked. Boys need continual and consistent discipline to make it through these years. Remember this rule: You don't raise boys, you just keep them alive long enough to go to school. During this time you will need to make sure there are no small objects as they will go in their mouth. Keep them alive through constant vigilance.
3-4 years:
This is where kids learn to press your buttons. They learn the word "No" and will use it every chance they get to piss you off. The more they see you flip out the more often and the better skilled they will become in manipulating your feelings. Be consistent with your decisions and remember you can snatch them up and manhandle them. Don't be scared to show them who's boss. I don't believe in that feeling garbage. No kid I've ever met felt like doing anything except to have fun. The only way I can get a heard of cats to go anywhere is by placing them in boxes and taking them.
4-9 years:
These are good times overall. Don't get me wrong we still have to be vigilant about accidental death, but for the most part they have discovered fire is hot, the stove is hot, cats scratch, dogs bite and eating bugs is only for when parents are looking.
9-10 years:
The beginning of puberty. There is a lot of crying that happens here. Your kid is now starting to develop and is unsure about how to deal with things they thought they knew. Your kid's brain is moving from concrete thinking (seeing everything in black/white, good/bad idea, yes/no) to abstract thinking which involves them being able to see in greys, not every idea is good or bad and the absolute worse the Maybe. This is like reliving the 3-4 years again without being able to snatch them up as easily especially if your out of shape. If you have a girl this is the beginning of a father's sanity. They start being interest in boys and you get the reversal of struggling. Your boy on the other hand will have a better grasp of reality when he gets through this phase. He'll be more inclined to have a conversation with you, unlike your daughter who will be pushing away from her parents who are stifling her.
11-14 years: (Middle School):
Pray you only have boys. Girls are mean, hateful and vindictive. Boys are angels compared to girls at this age. This is the age girls learn to hold a grudge, cry over boys and pretend they are grown by wearing inappropriate clothing. I again like to thank myself for not having any girls.
14-22 years: (High School - College):
At this point you just need to feed them money, encourage the positive things they do like sports and drop kick them occasionally back into reality. Kids during this phase are going to push back at the limits and barriers as young children don't apply to them. They want freedom but you have to temper this with responsibility like chores and/or a job. Please don't pamper your kids to the point they don't understand the concept of hard work.
This is a basic outline, this is not what your child will or won't do. If I knew that you'd be paying me for this and I would be bigger than Dr. Phil. This is an overall view of my experiences and how they can or will relate to your life. In the coming months I will give a more detail view of these dates and times to give you a better idea of how life is as a parent during these basic phases of growth. Remember: the goal of parenting is making a productive member of society that won't be living in your basement or in a jail cell. Remember to praise their accomplishments, encourage them to do what is needed to succeed and be consistent in your boundary setting.
-Rudest Dad
Like most men you just can't bring yourself to look at the books your wife, baby mama, girlfriend, significant other or whatever you decided to call her (I would reframe from any succubus, soul sucking, or ruined my life verbage. It doesn't go over well.) has bought while you try to put the nursery together under their supervision.
Since you don't have time for a book, I've decided to break it down for you in a time line basis. Remember you have 18 plus years of living with the alien inside the woman's stomach that will come out.
Birth:
The first thing you need to know is that the birthing process is disgusting, agonizing and mind altering terrorizing to your psyche. Don't worry this is for the most part the scariest part, because unless you are a doctor, nurse or work in the health field all you know about babies is what you where taught in 8th grade Health. Let the doctor's and nurses do their thing, Stay out of the way, and don't faint. There is nothing magical about something the size of a watermelon coming out of your favorite wife's hole.
You will now have several days in the hospital for you to become adjusted to being a father, your wife to learn to attach the kid to the booby. Run through the basics. These will be your last days to sleep, take them, put the baby into the nursery as much as possible, she'll hate you for it then, will thank you later. Once home it's eat, sleep, poop every three hours and that's if your lucky.
0-6 Months:
Welcome to your wife never sleeping again, it's all your fault and sex was something you use to do if you breast feed. If you bottle feed you and your partner can take shifts, swapping. You're going to be cranky, tired and exhausted. Get use to this feeling because you are going to live in this haze for a while. If your wife is awesome and isn't working, she may allow you to sleep so you can go to work. If your wife is a bitch, I wish you luck.
6-9 Months:
This is the golden time where you get to catch up with some of that sleep you lost in the last 6 months. This is the napping phase of life. Your kid is awake, happy and can't move. You can lay it on the ground, walk away and come back to the kid being in the exact same place. This is the highlight of having kids, they will never be this still again.
9 months - 3 years:
If you have boys you will understand when I say this: Raise everything you want to keep, lock everything that is valuable and breakable into boxes filled with bubble wrap. Don't plan on having anything nice for a while. Louie C.K. said it best about boys, "Boy's are like Hurricane's you can measure the damage they do to your life in dollars," for they will destroy everything you have, smile and do it again. It's not out of malice, but of an honest curiosity to see how much stress objects can take before they break. If you have girls you don't have to go through this process. Girls apparently have this innate ability to be polite and respectful without needing to be yelled at, punished and/or spanked. Boys need continual and consistent discipline to make it through these years. Remember this rule: You don't raise boys, you just keep them alive long enough to go to school. During this time you will need to make sure there are no small objects as they will go in their mouth. Keep them alive through constant vigilance.
3-4 years:
This is where kids learn to press your buttons. They learn the word "No" and will use it every chance they get to piss you off. The more they see you flip out the more often and the better skilled they will become in manipulating your feelings. Be consistent with your decisions and remember you can snatch them up and manhandle them. Don't be scared to show them who's boss. I don't believe in that feeling garbage. No kid I've ever met felt like doing anything except to have fun. The only way I can get a heard of cats to go anywhere is by placing them in boxes and taking them.
4-9 years:
These are good times overall. Don't get me wrong we still have to be vigilant about accidental death, but for the most part they have discovered fire is hot, the stove is hot, cats scratch, dogs bite and eating bugs is only for when parents are looking.
9-10 years:
The beginning of puberty. There is a lot of crying that happens here. Your kid is now starting to develop and is unsure about how to deal with things they thought they knew. Your kid's brain is moving from concrete thinking (seeing everything in black/white, good/bad idea, yes/no) to abstract thinking which involves them being able to see in greys, not every idea is good or bad and the absolute worse the Maybe. This is like reliving the 3-4 years again without being able to snatch them up as easily especially if your out of shape. If you have a girl this is the beginning of a father's sanity. They start being interest in boys and you get the reversal of struggling. Your boy on the other hand will have a better grasp of reality when he gets through this phase. He'll be more inclined to have a conversation with you, unlike your daughter who will be pushing away from her parents who are stifling her.
11-14 years: (Middle School):
Pray you only have boys. Girls are mean, hateful and vindictive. Boys are angels compared to girls at this age. This is the age girls learn to hold a grudge, cry over boys and pretend they are grown by wearing inappropriate clothing. I again like to thank myself for not having any girls.
14-22 years: (High School - College):
At this point you just need to feed them money, encourage the positive things they do like sports and drop kick them occasionally back into reality. Kids during this phase are going to push back at the limits and barriers as young children don't apply to them. They want freedom but you have to temper this with responsibility like chores and/or a job. Please don't pamper your kids to the point they don't understand the concept of hard work.
This is a basic outline, this is not what your child will or won't do. If I knew that you'd be paying me for this and I would be bigger than Dr. Phil. This is an overall view of my experiences and how they can or will relate to your life. In the coming months I will give a more detail view of these dates and times to give you a better idea of how life is as a parent during these basic phases of growth. Remember: the goal of parenting is making a productive member of society that won't be living in your basement or in a jail cell. Remember to praise their accomplishments, encourage them to do what is needed to succeed and be consistent in your boundary setting.
-Rudest Dad
Thursday, September 5, 2013
They're Watching
Every Few years I Google myself for shit and giggles. Personally I'm not famous so I don't get a 877,548 hits. When I first started this the only thing I could find was a digital article with a mention of my name. Now I have way to many hits. I found pictures of me I didn't know existed and ones that I didn't allow anyone to post.
Are you a member of Facebook, Tweet, Google everything, like to pin things. Well, these along with other companies are continually watched by the NSA and other government agencies. Facebook being notorious for changing their privacy laws and resetting your privacy setting so everyone including your mother can see. The CIA has stated something to the face that Facebook is the greatest intelligence gathering tool in the history of the world. Where everyone tells you exactly where you are and what you are doing. Facebook and these other "free" internet toys are worth millions if not billions of dollars, you know why. Because they sell your personal information. Google has blatantly come out and said we do this to sell your habits to advertisers. Well personal the only site that should hold my shopping habits is Amazon because that's where I shop. This to me, if your raising kids is a very scary thing. Because kids as Bill Cosby (who based an entire show on) "Say the Darnedest Things" and the dumbest things too.
Growing up we have things that stay in the family and things that everyone knows about. Not because they where wrong or bad, but it's just not polite to talk about. As an adult I understand everything I put on-line is going to be looked at by the government and anyone who looks. The problem is that you can't control what other people do and because of this their might be some very damaging pictures of your kids in the future. We don't live in the world of beepers anymore, we live in a virtual age where everything we do is documented and tracked. We live in a world where having some drunken fun can be the end of your career. Even if the picture was taken a decade ago. People have a funny way of processing what it means to have fun these days. Back when I was growing up, "Hold my beer!" and "Watch this!" was a great way to have fun. My friends and I still talk about how lucky we are when we did X, Y, & Z. In this hyped "Everyone has to be safe" world we are actually stopping evolution in humanity, especially in America.
America and the world is no longer a place of privacy, nor is it a safe place. (Did you know more people are killed by other American's than by terrorists or non-Americans.) Many people who say "So, who cares, I don't have any secrets," either A) Never had true fun in their life or B) Lived their misbegotten youth before the age of Facebook. Shucks, some of the things I've done are only in negatives because the store refused to print them or the developer thought it would be awesome to take it. The fact is our kids shouldn't or can't have a misbegotten youth if they are going to have careers in some fields. And without a misbegotten youth how the yell are you going to understand reality without making some dumb mistakes to learn not to make them. Because some lessons in live have to be learned the hard way. Sorry, if I'm going to be arrested I want to be arrested by someone sympathetic to my dumb stunt.
Experience is the best teacher. Just because you read about Mardi Gras is not the same as experiencing Mardi Gras. Knowing the Amazon is a jungle is not the same as spending a week in it. Without experience we as a culture will loose are way. Kids need experiences, but not everything has to be documented by pictures, tweets and status updates, unless they paint us in a positive way. Teaching your kids this and having them avoid posting everything: every dumb thought; picture; their location, etc will allow them to possibly have some fun without the Gestapo, bible thumping right wing activist puritans from stopping them from having a career where they could be a benefit. Everything we do is an update on some sight and your phone. Google yourself and find out what I'm talking about.
Here are some Handy tips you should do to stop everyone knowing everything about you:
1. On your phone don't allow push notifications or allow the phone to use your current location unless you specifically allow it, say for mapquest. This will allow your phone to conserve more battery life as it is not constantly uploading where you are every couple of seconds.
2. On all of your social websites go to the settings section and making everything private or friends only or the equivalent on the site.
3. Use a handle. A "handle" is a nickname or persona you use on-line. The NSA will know who you are as they will track your ISP address, but your employer won't. If you like doing and saying dumb shit, are an activitist against the man (and you work for them) this is a good idea. Plus you have the added bonus unless someone knows you personally their not going to be your friend.
4. Last but not least you can go nuclear and disappear completely. Here's a webpage: http://www.wikihow.com/Delete-Yourself-from-the-Internet . This gives you a good account of what you need to do, but will take some work because everything you do is collected, cataloged, analyzed and stored to use against you later in life.
5. You could pay someone to shield your persona. Personally I don't need private security but their has sprouted a whole new industry who do just this via the web.
6. Just be smart about what you post. Don't post you mooning the mailman or having a fight with the bouncer at the club. Or just make better decisions by being more sneaky so their aren't any of these things out there.
The biggest thing is to keep your kids informed about what the consequences can be and more than likely will be when they grow up. No average kid sees their actions as having a repercussion in the distant future (they can only see weeks at a time), but if you do it right they might not make this their new catch phrase, "Yeah Video This!" right before they do something stupid and wind up on Tosh.0
Are you a member of Facebook, Tweet, Google everything, like to pin things. Well, these along with other companies are continually watched by the NSA and other government agencies. Facebook being notorious for changing their privacy laws and resetting your privacy setting so everyone including your mother can see. The CIA has stated something to the face that Facebook is the greatest intelligence gathering tool in the history of the world. Where everyone tells you exactly where you are and what you are doing. Facebook and these other "free" internet toys are worth millions if not billions of dollars, you know why. Because they sell your personal information. Google has blatantly come out and said we do this to sell your habits to advertisers. Well personal the only site that should hold my shopping habits is Amazon because that's where I shop. This to me, if your raising kids is a very scary thing. Because kids as Bill Cosby (who based an entire show on) "Say the Darnedest Things" and the dumbest things too.
Growing up we have things that stay in the family and things that everyone knows about. Not because they where wrong or bad, but it's just not polite to talk about. As an adult I understand everything I put on-line is going to be looked at by the government and anyone who looks. The problem is that you can't control what other people do and because of this their might be some very damaging pictures of your kids in the future. We don't live in the world of beepers anymore, we live in a virtual age where everything we do is documented and tracked. We live in a world where having some drunken fun can be the end of your career. Even if the picture was taken a decade ago. People have a funny way of processing what it means to have fun these days. Back when I was growing up, "Hold my beer!" and "Watch this!" was a great way to have fun. My friends and I still talk about how lucky we are when we did X, Y, & Z. In this hyped "Everyone has to be safe" world we are actually stopping evolution in humanity, especially in America.
America and the world is no longer a place of privacy, nor is it a safe place. (Did you know more people are killed by other American's than by terrorists or non-Americans.) Many people who say "So, who cares, I don't have any secrets," either A) Never had true fun in their life or B) Lived their misbegotten youth before the age of Facebook. Shucks, some of the things I've done are only in negatives because the store refused to print them or the developer thought it would be awesome to take it. The fact is our kids shouldn't or can't have a misbegotten youth if they are going to have careers in some fields. And without a misbegotten youth how the yell are you going to understand reality without making some dumb mistakes to learn not to make them. Because some lessons in live have to be learned the hard way. Sorry, if I'm going to be arrested I want to be arrested by someone sympathetic to my dumb stunt.
Experience is the best teacher. Just because you read about Mardi Gras is not the same as experiencing Mardi Gras. Knowing the Amazon is a jungle is not the same as spending a week in it. Without experience we as a culture will loose are way. Kids need experiences, but not everything has to be documented by pictures, tweets and status updates, unless they paint us in a positive way. Teaching your kids this and having them avoid posting everything: every dumb thought; picture; their location, etc will allow them to possibly have some fun without the Gestapo, bible thumping right wing activist puritans from stopping them from having a career where they could be a benefit. Everything we do is an update on some sight and your phone. Google yourself and find out what I'm talking about.
Here are some Handy tips you should do to stop everyone knowing everything about you:
1. On your phone don't allow push notifications or allow the phone to use your current location unless you specifically allow it, say for mapquest. This will allow your phone to conserve more battery life as it is not constantly uploading where you are every couple of seconds.
2. On all of your social websites go to the settings section and making everything private or friends only or the equivalent on the site.
3. Use a handle. A "handle" is a nickname or persona you use on-line. The NSA will know who you are as they will track your ISP address, but your employer won't. If you like doing and saying dumb shit, are an activitist against the man (and you work for them) this is a good idea. Plus you have the added bonus unless someone knows you personally their not going to be your friend.
4. Last but not least you can go nuclear and disappear completely. Here's a webpage: http://www.wikihow.com/Delete-Yourself-from-the-Internet . This gives you a good account of what you need to do, but will take some work because everything you do is collected, cataloged, analyzed and stored to use against you later in life.
5. You could pay someone to shield your persona. Personally I don't need private security but their has sprouted a whole new industry who do just this via the web.
6. Just be smart about what you post. Don't post you mooning the mailman or having a fight with the bouncer at the club. Or just make better decisions by being more sneaky so their aren't any of these things out there.
The biggest thing is to keep your kids informed about what the consequences can be and more than likely will be when they grow up. No average kid sees their actions as having a repercussion in the distant future (they can only see weeks at a time), but if you do it right they might not make this their new catch phrase, "Yeah Video This!" right before they do something stupid and wind up on Tosh.0
Saturday, August 24, 2013
How to Clean Your Car Like a Professional
Winter is upon us, but before we say good bye to the warm weather we must give our cars a last once over before it's to cold to go outside. There are several things all men need to know when they clean a car, especially when children are involved. The first is your car can never be truly clean. The best we can is cleaning keeping the worse from spilling and staining the carpets. I believe in this system. Scotch Guard once a year, Wax twice a year (Spring/Fall), Clean Out, Vacuum/Windex/Armour All every 4 months. In the mean time keep plastic store bags in your car to contain the bulk of the trash in your car. This is my system of going through a full Wash/Wax and Deep Clean with all the tricks I have learned throughout the years. This is a basic layout. You at times will need to shampoo your carpets and upholstery and if it's really bad you may have to take out everything and replace it. Remember a decent looking car requires a continual routine, effort and time to achieve the results you want.
Step 1: Find your tire cleaning corrosive. Spray this on your tires and rims. (If you have plastic hub caps I would apply this before step 8). This way when you rinse your car right before washing most of the stains will be ready to be scrubbed out.
Step 2: Cleaning out the Car is awful but exciting too as you can usually find something you where missing the kids got a hold of when you weren't looking. Take a Large bin or box and put everything that is not trash into it. Jackets, shirts, towels, pens, unused napkins, toys, etc. Once this is done take a garbage bag and clean out all the the trash and large pieces of dirt.
Step 3: Take out the floor Mats. If you use Rubber (which I recommend the heavy duty ones) put some water on them from the hose and allow to soak. If you have carpet just put off to the side to be vacuumed and in most cases scrubbed with a hard brush with water. When you take out the carpets leave the doors open. When you wash the car in step 8 you want to scrub your rubber mats, drain, place in the sun to dry and replace once dry (more than likely after you are done waxing the car)
Step 4: Using a bucket of plain water and a rag wipe down the car. Start with the dash board and all the non cloth sections inside the car. When this is done start wiping down the part where the doors seal against the frame. All the metal and inbetween spaces dirt and grease like to build up. If you have rain guards make sure to wipe underneath them. Wipe the sides and underneath the doors. Wipe the metal beam between the doors on the outside. Rinse and change out your water regularly. If this is the first time you have every done this you might need more than one rag. You should be wiping down between the doors and the frame of the car at this point. Once you have done this pop the gas plate and wipe that out too. Believe me you will thank me. When cleaning the car the small details are what make the car look good.
Step 5: Vacuum the car from top to bottom, back to front and the trunk. Make sure to move your front seats forward when vacuuming the back seats and lift the seats in the back up to vacuum the floor for those lost Cheerios and gold fish.
Step 6: Detailing a car is a skill and with any good skill you have special tools to do the job right. A good heavy duty butter knife (none of that cheep shit) you will use this to pop a few pieces of the interior off, a clean rag (torn up old shirts work great) and water. Last but not least Q-Tips. Yep that's right Q-Tips. With the butter knife you will wrap the rung out rag around it and use it to get to those hard to reach places such as around the drive shaft, around the steering wheel. With the Q-Tips you are going to wet and ring out in the small bucket. Then use the tips to wipe out your vents and all those even harder to reach places. If you want to go hard core you can get the extra long Q-Tips from a pharmacy to reach back in the vents. Take your time and be systematic about cleaning your car. Remember to much water is bad. You want damp to take up the dust and dirt, not wet to make mud.
Step 7: Time to protect and make everything shiny. I'm a fan of Armour All due to family tradition but I'm not appose to turtle wax or any of the other boxed care packages I get every Christmas. Spray and wipe using a rag all non carpeted, leather or glass surfaces. Your car spends a lot of time in the sun and the sun will bleach the color out of everything. The only way to keep your dash board from cracking is by applying this stuff or something similar to hydrate it. If you have leather seats this concept applies as well. Nothing looks worse than a crack dashboard are cracked leather. Once you are done Windex all the windows inside and out using paper towels or old newspapers. When done use the damp paper towels to wipe all the chrome in the interior, the dash display cover and the radio light up screen. Now Scotch Guard the carpeting and Upholstery. I recommend doing this during the fall waxing.
Step 8: Close up the car, Rinse and wash your car. Make sure you either use A) good soft sponge to prevent scratching or B) one of those car brushes with soft bristles. Use a good degreaser soap. I'm a big fan of Dawn, if they can take crude oil off of birds it's good enough for my car. You don't need those high dollar soaps they will sell you. If you get it for Christmas use it up, but I still haven't found one as good as Dawn. Scrub the car down and rinse.
Step 9: With a hard bristle brush start scrubbing out the brake dust stains on your rims. Don't be scared to put some elbow grease in there. I find the ones that look like tooth brushes are the best as you are able to get into the corners.
Step 10: Wax your car. In recent years they have come out with liquid wax. If your car as a lot of scratches I don't recommend it and am still wary of them as the wax doesn't tend to last as long as the old school rub in and rub out ones do. If you are on a schedule the liquids are good for when your in a hurry, but if your going to do it right old school is still the best school. The key to waxing a car is doing it in the shade, do the work in sections (hood, door, trunk, etc) use a soft bath towel to take up the wax and do a minimum of 2 coats but no more than 4. Once you are done clean up and go through the bin, replace the things you want in your car, the rest can go back to wherever it came from to make the long journey back to your now clean car.
Step 11: Keep the car as long as you can, like until your kids move out of your house. Kids especially boys destroy everything they come in contact with. It's just part of their nature. I'm keeping my current car as long as I can and when I do get a new car I'm not letting my kids near it until after Middle School. The biggest trick to reduce the time you spend on your quarterly cleaning is just keeping up with the crap your kids leave behind. The deep cleaning is great but if you never picked up that spilled whatever you may have to spend some time with some carpet cleaner or have to replace the entire carpet.
Step 1: Find your tire cleaning corrosive. Spray this on your tires and rims. (If you have plastic hub caps I would apply this before step 8). This way when you rinse your car right before washing most of the stains will be ready to be scrubbed out.
Step 2: Cleaning out the Car is awful but exciting too as you can usually find something you where missing the kids got a hold of when you weren't looking. Take a Large bin or box and put everything that is not trash into it. Jackets, shirts, towels, pens, unused napkins, toys, etc. Once this is done take a garbage bag and clean out all the the trash and large pieces of dirt.
Step 3: Take out the floor Mats. If you use Rubber (which I recommend the heavy duty ones) put some water on them from the hose and allow to soak. If you have carpet just put off to the side to be vacuumed and in most cases scrubbed with a hard brush with water. When you take out the carpets leave the doors open. When you wash the car in step 8 you want to scrub your rubber mats, drain, place in the sun to dry and replace once dry (more than likely after you are done waxing the car)
Step 4: Using a bucket of plain water and a rag wipe down the car. Start with the dash board and all the non cloth sections inside the car. When this is done start wiping down the part where the doors seal against the frame. All the metal and inbetween spaces dirt and grease like to build up. If you have rain guards make sure to wipe underneath them. Wipe the sides and underneath the doors. Wipe the metal beam between the doors on the outside. Rinse and change out your water regularly. If this is the first time you have every done this you might need more than one rag. You should be wiping down between the doors and the frame of the car at this point. Once you have done this pop the gas plate and wipe that out too. Believe me you will thank me. When cleaning the car the small details are what make the car look good.
Step 5: Vacuum the car from top to bottom, back to front and the trunk. Make sure to move your front seats forward when vacuuming the back seats and lift the seats in the back up to vacuum the floor for those lost Cheerios and gold fish.
Step 6: Detailing a car is a skill and with any good skill you have special tools to do the job right. A good heavy duty butter knife (none of that cheep shit) you will use this to pop a few pieces of the interior off, a clean rag (torn up old shirts work great) and water. Last but not least Q-Tips. Yep that's right Q-Tips. With the butter knife you will wrap the rung out rag around it and use it to get to those hard to reach places such as around the drive shaft, around the steering wheel. With the Q-Tips you are going to wet and ring out in the small bucket. Then use the tips to wipe out your vents and all those even harder to reach places. If you want to go hard core you can get the extra long Q-Tips from a pharmacy to reach back in the vents. Take your time and be systematic about cleaning your car. Remember to much water is bad. You want damp to take up the dust and dirt, not wet to make mud.
Step 7: Time to protect and make everything shiny. I'm a fan of Armour All due to family tradition but I'm not appose to turtle wax or any of the other boxed care packages I get every Christmas. Spray and wipe using a rag all non carpeted, leather or glass surfaces. Your car spends a lot of time in the sun and the sun will bleach the color out of everything. The only way to keep your dash board from cracking is by applying this stuff or something similar to hydrate it. If you have leather seats this concept applies as well. Nothing looks worse than a crack dashboard are cracked leather. Once you are done Windex all the windows inside and out using paper towels or old newspapers. When done use the damp paper towels to wipe all the chrome in the interior, the dash display cover and the radio light up screen. Now Scotch Guard the carpeting and Upholstery. I recommend doing this during the fall waxing.
Step 8: Close up the car, Rinse and wash your car. Make sure you either use A) good soft sponge to prevent scratching or B) one of those car brushes with soft bristles. Use a good degreaser soap. I'm a big fan of Dawn, if they can take crude oil off of birds it's good enough for my car. You don't need those high dollar soaps they will sell you. If you get it for Christmas use it up, but I still haven't found one as good as Dawn. Scrub the car down and rinse.
Step 9: With a hard bristle brush start scrubbing out the brake dust stains on your rims. Don't be scared to put some elbow grease in there. I find the ones that look like tooth brushes are the best as you are able to get into the corners.
Step 10: Wax your car. In recent years they have come out with liquid wax. If your car as a lot of scratches I don't recommend it and am still wary of them as the wax doesn't tend to last as long as the old school rub in and rub out ones do. If you are on a schedule the liquids are good for when your in a hurry, but if your going to do it right old school is still the best school. The key to waxing a car is doing it in the shade, do the work in sections (hood, door, trunk, etc) use a soft bath towel to take up the wax and do a minimum of 2 coats but no more than 4. Once you are done clean up and go through the bin, replace the things you want in your car, the rest can go back to wherever it came from to make the long journey back to your now clean car.
Step 11: Keep the car as long as you can, like until your kids move out of your house. Kids especially boys destroy everything they come in contact with. It's just part of their nature. I'm keeping my current car as long as I can and when I do get a new car I'm not letting my kids near it until after Middle School. The biggest trick to reduce the time you spend on your quarterly cleaning is just keeping up with the crap your kids leave behind. The deep cleaning is great but if you never picked up that spilled whatever you may have to spend some time with some carpet cleaner or have to replace the entire carpet.
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