They're Watching

Every Few years I Google myself for shit and giggles.  Personally I'm not famous so I don't get a 877,548 hits.  When I first started this the only thing I could find was a digital article with a mention of my name.  Now I have way to many hits.  I found pictures of me I didn't know existed and ones that I didn't allow anyone to post. 

Are you a member of Facebook, Tweet, Google everything, like to pin things.  Well, these along with other companies are continually watched by the NSA and other government agencies.  Facebook being notorious for changing their privacy laws and resetting your privacy setting so everyone including your mother can see.  The CIA has stated something to the face that Facebook is the greatest intelligence gathering tool in the history of the world.  Where everyone tells you exactly where you are and what you are doing.  Facebook and these other "free" internet toys are worth millions if not billions of dollars, you know why.  Because they sell your personal information.  Google has blatantly come out and said we do this to sell your habits to advertisers.  Well personal the only site that should hold my shopping habits is Amazon because that's where I shop.  This to me, if your raising kids is a very scary thing.  Because kids as Bill Cosby (who based an entire show on) "Say the Darnedest Things" and the dumbest things too.

Growing up we have things that stay in the family and things that everyone knows about.  Not because they where wrong or bad, but it's just not polite to talk about.  As an adult I understand everything I put on-line is going to be looked at by the government and anyone who looks.  The problem is that you can't control what other people do and because of this their might be some very damaging pictures of your kids in the future.  We don't live in the world of beepers anymore, we live in a virtual age where everything we do is documented and tracked.  We live in a world where having some drunken fun can be the end of your career.  Even if the picture was taken a decade ago.  People have a funny way of processing what it means to have fun these days.  Back when I was growing up, "Hold my beer!" and "Watch this!" was a great way to have fun.  My friends and I still talk about how lucky we are when we did X, Y, & Z.  In this hyped "Everyone has to be safe" world we are actually stopping evolution in humanity, especially in America. 

America and the world is no longer a place of privacy, nor is it a safe place.  (Did you know more people are killed by other American's than by terrorists or non-Americans.)  Many people who say "So, who cares, I don't have any secrets," either A) Never had true fun in their life or B) Lived their misbegotten youth before the age of Facebook.  Shucks, some of the things I've done are only in negatives because the store refused to print them or the developer thought it would be awesome to take it.  The fact is our kids shouldn't or can't have a misbegotten youth if they are going to have careers in some fields.  And without a misbegotten youth how the yell are you going to understand reality without making some dumb mistakes to learn not to make them.  Because some lessons in live have to be learned the hard way.  Sorry, if I'm going to be arrested I want to be arrested by someone sympathetic to my dumb stunt.  

Experience is the best teacher.  Just because you read about Mardi Gras is not the same as experiencing Mardi Gras.  Knowing the Amazon is a jungle is not the same as spending a week in it.  Without experience we as a culture will loose are way.  Kids need experiences, but not everything has to be documented by pictures, tweets and status updates, unless they paint us in a positive way.  Teaching your kids this and having them avoid posting everything: every dumb thought; picture; their location, etc will allow them to possibly  have some fun without the Gestapo, bible thumping right wing activist puritans from stopping them from having a career where they could be a benefit.  Everything we do is an update on some sight and your phone.  Google yourself and find out what I'm talking about.

Here are some Handy tips you should do to stop everyone knowing everything about you:

1. On your phone don't allow push notifications or allow the phone to use your current location unless you specifically allow it, say for mapquest.  This will allow your phone to conserve more battery life as it is not constantly uploading where you are every couple of seconds.

2. On all of your social websites go to the settings section and making everything private or friends only or the equivalent on the site.

3. Use a handle.  A "handle" is a nickname or persona you use on-line.  The NSA will know who you are as they will track your ISP address, but your employer won't.  If you like doing and saying dumb shit, are an activitist against the man (and you work for them) this is a good idea.  Plus you have the added bonus unless someone knows you personally their not going to be your friend. 

4. Last but not least you can go nuclear and disappear completely.  Here's a webpage: http://www.wikihow.com/Delete-Yourself-from-the-Internet . This gives you a good account of what you need to do, but will take some work because everything you do is collected, cataloged, analyzed and stored to use against you later in life.  

5. You could pay someone to shield your persona.  Personally I don't need private security but their has sprouted a whole new industry who do just this via the web.

6. Just be smart about what you post.  Don't post you mooning the mailman or having a fight with the bouncer at the club.  Or just make better decisions by being more sneaky so their aren't any of these things out there.

The biggest thing is to keep your kids informed about what the consequences can be and more than likely will be when they grow up.  No average kid sees their actions as having a repercussion in the distant future (they can only see weeks at a time), but if you do it right they might not make this their new catch phrase, "Yeah Video This!" right before they do something stupid and wind up on Tosh.0 

How to Clean Your Car Like a Professional

Winter is upon us, but before we say good bye to the warm weather we must give our cars a last once over before it's to cold to go outside.  There are several things all men need to know when they clean a car, especially when children are involved.  The first is your car can never be truly clean.  The best we can is cleaning keeping the worse from spilling and staining the carpets.  I believe in this system.  Scotch Guard once a year, Wax twice a year (Spring/Fall), Clean Out, Vacuum/Windex/Armour All every 4 months.  In the mean time keep plastic store bags in your car to contain the bulk of the trash in your car.  This is my system of going through a full Wash/Wax and Deep Clean with all the tricks I have learned throughout the years.  This is a basic layout.  You at times will need to shampoo your carpets and upholstery and if it's really bad you may have to take out everything and replace it.  Remember a decent looking car requires a continual routine, effort and time to achieve the results you want.    

Step 1: Find your tire cleaning corrosive.  Spray this on your tires and rims.  (If you have plastic hub caps I would apply this before step 8).  This way when you rinse your car right before washing most of the stains will be ready to be scrubbed out.



Step 2: Cleaning out the Car is awful but exciting too as you can usually find something you where missing the kids got a hold of when you weren't looking.  Take a Large bin or box and put everything that is not trash into it.  Jackets, shirts, towels, pens, unused napkins, toys, etc.  Once this is done take a garbage bag and clean out all the the trash and large pieces of dirt.   



Step 3: Take out the floor Mats.  If you use Rubber (which I recommend the heavy duty ones) put some water on them from the hose and allow to soak.  If you have carpet just put off to the side to be vacuumed and in most cases scrubbed with a hard brush with water.   When you take out the carpets leave the doors open. When you wash the car in step 8 you want to scrub your rubber mats, drain, place in the sun to dry and replace once dry (more than likely after you are done waxing the car)



Step 4: Using a bucket of plain water and a rag wipe down the car.  Start with the dash board and all the non cloth sections inside the car.  When this is done start wiping down the part where the doors seal against the frame.  All the metal and inbetween spaces dirt and grease like to build up.  If you have rain guards make sure to wipe underneath them.  Wipe the sides and underneath the doors.  Wipe the metal beam between the doors on the outside.  Rinse and change out your water regularly.  If this is the first time you have every done this you might need more than one rag.  You should be wiping down between the doors and the frame of the car at this point.  Once you have done this pop the gas plate and wipe that out too.  Believe me you will thank me.  When cleaning the car the small details are what make the car look good. 



Step 5: Vacuum the car from top to bottom, back to front and the trunk.  Make sure to move your front seats forward when vacuuming  the back seats and lift the seats in the back up to vacuum the floor for those lost Cheerios and gold fish.


Step 6: Detailing a car is a skill and with any good skill you have special tools to do the job right.  A good heavy duty butter knife (none of that cheep shit) you will use this to pop a few pieces of the interior off, a clean rag (torn up old shirts work great) and water.  Last but not least Q-Tips.  Yep that's right Q-Tips.  With the butter knife you will wrap the rung out rag around it and use it to get to those hard to reach places such as around the drive shaft, around the steering wheel.  With the Q-Tips you are going to wet and ring out in the small bucket.  Then use the tips to wipe out your vents and all those even harder to reach places. If you want to go hard core you can get the extra long Q-Tips from a pharmacy to reach back in the vents.  Take your time and be systematic about cleaning your car.  Remember to much water is bad.  You want damp to take up the dust and dirt, not wet to make mud.


Step 7: Time to protect and make everything shiny.  I'm a fan of Armour All due to family tradition but I'm not appose to turtle wax or any of the other boxed care packages I get every Christmas.  Spray and wipe using a rag all non carpeted, leather or glass surfaces.  Your car spends a lot of time in the sun and the sun will bleach the color out of everything.  The only way to keep your dash board from cracking is by applying this stuff or something similar to hydrate it.  If you have leather seats this concept applies as well.  Nothing looks worse than a crack dashboard are cracked leather.  Once you are done Windex all the windows inside and out using paper towels or old newspapers.  When done use the damp paper towels to wipe all the chrome in the interior, the dash display cover and the radio light up screen.  Now Scotch Guard the carpeting and Upholstery.  I recommend doing this during the fall waxing.     


Step 8: Close up the car, Rinse and wash your car.  Make sure you either use A) good soft sponge to prevent scratching or B) one of those car brushes with soft bristles.  Use a good degreaser soap.  I'm a big fan of Dawn, if they can take crude oil off of birds it's good enough for my car.  You don't need those high dollar soaps they will sell you.  If you get it for Christmas use it up, but I still haven't found one as good as Dawn.  Scrub the car down and rinse.


Step 9: With a hard bristle brush start scrubbing out the brake dust stains on your rims.  Don't be scared to put some elbow grease in there.  I find the ones that look like tooth brushes are the best as you are able to get into the corners.



Step 10: Wax your car.  In recent years they have come out with liquid wax.  If your car as a lot of scratches I don't recommend it and am still wary of them as the wax doesn't tend to last as long as the old school rub in and rub out ones do.  If you are on a schedule the liquids are good for when your in a hurry, but if your going to do it right old school is still the best school.  The key to waxing a car is doing it in the shade, do the work in sections (hood, door, trunk, etc) use a soft bath towel to take up the wax and do a minimum of 2 coats but no more than 4.  Once you are done clean up and go through the bin, replace the things you want in your car, the rest can go back to wherever it came from to make the long journey back to your now clean car.



Step 11: Keep the car as long as you can, like until your kids move out of your house.  Kids especially boys destroy everything they come in contact with.  It's just part of their nature.  I'm keeping my current car as long as I can and when I do get a new car I'm not letting my kids near it until after Middle School.  The biggest trick to reduce the time you spend on your quarterly cleaning is just keeping up with the crap your kids leave behind.  The deep cleaning is great but if you never picked up that spilled whatever you may have to spend some time with some carpet cleaner or have to replace the entire carpet. 

Best Apps for your iPhone (August 2013)

There are tons of apps in the apps store.  Finding the ones that are worth anything and actually functional in your day to day life can take some effort.  Here are my top picks every man should have on his iphone.



(Free) This is a great app.  No longer do you need to remember your book for those times you have to wait at the doctor's office, the post office or anywhere else you have to wait.

(Free)This is one of the best apps for word documents, excel and power point.  This app links to your computer and automatically syncs to your phone.  You get the first 2 gigs free.

This is an app you have to buy but it is worth it.  The ipad version is completely awesome works just as good as any Microsoft Office on a laptop.  Great for the iphone too, just not as many options.  Allows you to make documents on the go than use drop box to link back to your computer. 
(Free) Internet music is great.  All you have to do is enter your favorite bands and listen.  Get 40 hours of listening for free.  If you burn that much time than you have an awesome job.  You can upgrade to unlimited with no commercials for a couple of bucks. 

(Free) Everyone needs to know what temperature it is.  Also you get to choose any city you want, with the ability to keep multiple cities.


(Free) You need to know where your going.  With turn-by-turn navigation this app works pretty good.  Also it will navigate you to the nearest Taco Bell too.

(Free) Ringtone Maker is the best app in making free ringtones.  You can make a ringtone from any song you own in itunes.  There is a tutorial on Youtube that will walk you through the process.  Jumping through the hoops is worth it.  The app is free, if you upgrade to the paid version gives you more options but really you can do with the free version.   
(Free) Ever want to know who that hot chick is in that movie.  Well this will answer any of those questions.
(Free) Calculator.  Self explanatory.
Private Info:  Sorry couldn't find the icon.  This is the private app you can store pictures, files, documents and all those passwords you have to keep track of.  That's the highlight of this app.  No longer do you have to remember every password you ever needed as long as you don't forget the password into the app.  Than your on your own and screwed.

(Free) Some guy somewhere finds all the paid apps that become free that day, then posts them on this app by noon.  There are some great things that become free without knowing it and having to shift throughout the iTunes store.
Ever wish you could take a picture of that paper or document and have it as a document.  Well now you can.  Take a picture of it, turn it into a PDF and email it to yourself or put it into drop box.  You can copy and paste later.  If you are in college or need to make copies but don't have an actual scanner this is the app for you.

Right now Apple is currently working on the next operating system iOs 7 to be released in the next few months.  For those of you who are 4s and up the excitement is palpable.  Currently however we have the current operating system iOs 6.1.3.  As everyone knows the iphone and all the other smart phones have reduced the number of things you need to carry around with you.  Your phone does almost everything for you.  Once it starts your car, carries your credit cards, your Driver's License and those other important documents your phone will be the only thing you have to leave the house with.  Right now we haven't reached that point.  Until we do these are the apps you should have as your basic stock.